What happens when you’ve been in love with someone & they suddenly die but because apart from one person, no one else knew of your relationship? How do you grieve their death when you can’t talk about them with anyone?
This is the crux of ‘Here is the Beehive’. Ana and Connor have been having an affair for three years after they met while she worked on his will. They’ve met in hotel rooms, spoken on the phone, had brief weekends away. But now, Connor is dead & Ana is alone in her grief. In a bid to find answers to help her, she reaches out to Rebecca – Connor’s wife – a woman who she has heard of a lot but met only once. Will this help her grieve?
Oh, this book! This is a beautiful novel by Sarah Crossan written entirely in verse. Ana’s pain is raw & portrayed sensitively. As she recollects the affair, there is so much pain amidst the moments of happiness. Connor does all the things to show he loves her except one – choose her. Choose her over his wife. There were many instances when I cried for Ana, for her loss and her pain, and not just after Connor died but also, before. This book is emotional & beautiful & sad.
Read this book to understand the pain of not being able to grieve openly, of loving someone despite all the narratives society prefers, of not being chosen. Oh, and keep a box of tissues handy.
I want him to tell me our love shattered you.
I want him to tell me that if you were alive
you would have picked me
eventuallySarah Crossan, Here is the Beehive, p. 64
So you stayed,
returned from days of passion
to nights of silence
and convinced yourself it was
and at the very least
what you deserved.
But did you ever ask yourself
what I deserved?Sarah Crossan, Here is the Beehive, p. 225