Poetry

Stalking prey

Behind the laundry basket, the cat hides,
bum in air, waiting to pounce
on its innocent prey

© Sanch V @ Sanch Writes (13 November 2019)

Attempting a new form of poetry – the kimo

Featured image: Pexels

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  • Nathan
    14 November 2019 at 3:13 am

    I like how you left it to the reader to decide what they prey is. What tone were you going for? For me, the word “bum” made a quiet, focused moment kind of silly.

  • Heidi Lobecker
    14 November 2019 at 6:07 am

    I like the juxtaposition of the cute cat pic, cute words like “bum” and the domesticated references like “laundry” against the hunter instincts of “prey” this little poem nicely set up a whole scene in just a few words.

  • asha
    14 November 2019 at 8:00 pm

    This was a really nice example of the style — it was a frozen moment, well captured. I suspect the dialect differences are going to cause different interpretations of words like “bum”. For me, it was a perfectly ubiquitous word that doesn’t feel diminutive. It is something to keep in mind though — your reader may have a different background and different understandings to you.
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    • Sanch @ Sanch Writes
      14 November 2019 at 9:24 pm

      Thanks for the constructive feedback Asha; I think dialect is something I tend to forget but I understand it can be important. I think with fiction, it can be helpful as it gives a sense of place but I can see it would be confusing with poetry

  • Kirsten Britt Baltz
    15 November 2019 at 4:18 am

    This is adorable. I enjoy how you leave this ambiguous to what the cat is stalking, but I’m convinced it is toes.

  • Whispering Thoughts
    15 November 2019 at 9:26 am

    Awwdorable to read

  • Allie Bock
    17 November 2019 at 4:24 am

    Love this! The picture and the poem are perfect together.

  • Shilpa Gupte
    6 December 2019 at 6:02 pm

    Too cute! The picture and the poetry! <3
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  • November 2019 Reflections - Sanch Writes
    8 December 2019 at 9:23 am

    […] was able to dabble in a bit of poetry – Stalking Prey, Burning and Morning Hit – and a microprose – Unfiltered – on the blog for […]