Life lessons

Ephemeral happiness #FridayReflections

When we spend our life chasing happiness, we will realise at least one of two things:

  1. We are miserable in the pursuit
  2. If by chance we do get there, it is ephemeral

We are constantly told we deserve to be happy, that it is our right. And so, we pursue it. Much to our detriment. The problem with having happiness as a goal is that we get stuck in the trap that everything has to be good. We want to avoid suffering and pain because it is quite the opposite of the happiness we yearn.

Once upon a time, I thought it was important to be happy majority of the time. Consequently, I either had no insight into my worries, or later when I did notice it, I thought something was wrong with me. I also thought the sadness was unbearable and that I shouldn’t feel this way.

The reality is life is full of ups and downs. As much as we envision our lives taking either an upward path or even a straight path, it is just full of squiggles. Nothing goes as planned. Some things might go as we hoped. Sometimes, when we do attain that elusive happiness either through things such as ‘the most awesome job’ or ‘the perfect partner’, we only have to give it a little time before there is some kind of pain. The most awesome job will still have some workplace politics. The perfect partner is but a myth.

If happiness is the goal, then the minute there is pain and suffering, we are likely to give up as happiness is short-lived in these situations. We will look for that next job. We will get out of that relationship. We will keep chopping and changing things just to find happiness. And in the process, we never will.

Instead, what if we were to accept the pain and the suffering? What if we embraced the sadness or sat with the hurt and the worry? Sure, it would suck. But in the process, we would learn a lot about ourselves and the world. The paradoxical nature of acceptance is that it brings about change. Whether in the form of knowledge or in the form of contentment or perhaps even behaviour, it is still change.

So rather than chasing happiness, let’s start to accept the pain.

We will most likely find ourselves a whole lot more content.


If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Corinne from Everyday Gyaan and yours truly give you one writing prompts a week to blog about and link up every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

The prompt for this week is Ephemeral. Use this word anywhere within your post. 

Our prompt for next week, 8th September, is the phrase ‘Alone Together’ Put your thinking caps on and be prepared for next week!

Featured Image: Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash

Until next time,




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  • Vanessa
    1 September 2017 at 8:44 am

    I think this is why the excess internet feel good always be happy bugs me. I’m allowed to be sad, mad, tired, cranky, relaxed, happy, overjoyed and every other thing! One is not more valid than the other. I feel like some people want every single thing on the internet to be a santised Christmas letter to the family of the wins only.

    Uh, not that I feel strongly about this 🙂
    Vanessa recently posted…#ArchiveLove 42My Profile

    • Sanch @ Sanch Writes
      1 September 2017 at 8:47 am

      I know, right? When I have clients whose goal is happiness, I actually tell them I can’t help them get there. Rather, I emphasise what they would be doing if they were less anxious/depressed etc because it’s more about what they’re not doing than about just feeling some nonexistent sense of happiness. The funny thing is when they start doing things, they do feel less anxious and sad but it’s still ok to feel that way sometimes.

  • rachel
    1 September 2017 at 3:26 pm

    This summer has made me sad and angry by turns. It’s only now as it ends that I am trying to accept things with as much grace and as few tears as possible. Hail and well met from the WriteTrive Facebook group, Rachel

  • Shilpa Gupte
    1 September 2017 at 4:33 pm

    Oh yes, Sanch! I agree…it’s only if we accept the fact that with happiness will come pain and sadness, will we be truly happy. Easier said than done, though! 🙂

  • Shalini
    1 September 2017 at 5:02 pm

    If there is one thing that I’ve learned all through these years is to accept and embrace things which go wrong. It is important for survival! 🙂 Congrats on the move! Keep the logo though. I love it!
    Shalini recently posted…… and she’s four!! #BlogAnniversaryMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Sanch Writes
      1 September 2017 at 5:19 pm

      Thanks! My sis is re-desgining a logo but I’ve asked her to keep the hummingbird 🙂

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  • Bellybytes
    1 September 2017 at 7:40 pm

    This post resonates completely with me . Acceptance is key to happiness because nothing is eternal not even joy

  • The Unknown Journey Ahead
    1 September 2017 at 8:06 pm

    Acceptance is the key to happiness, yes. I could add that realizing that you have to accept certain situations as beyond your control is the key to maturity.
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  • Soumya
    1 September 2017 at 10:09 pm

    Without acceptance of pain, you can never enjoy the happiness.

    I wish long bouts of happiness for you now, Sanch.
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  • Esha
    2 September 2017 at 7:47 pm

    I guess the trick is to accept that once we embrace the pain and accept it as part of life, happiness automatically follows because we have taken things in our stride and moved on. I personally believe and follow that path! Taken me long years of enduring pain to come up with a middle path that is easy enough to follow.

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