I wish you could see
See what I mean
Mean when I ask
Ask you to come clean
Tell me no lies
Lies that you live
Live a double life
Life to another, you give
I’ve seen the other girl
Girl with red hair
Hair that’s wild
Wild beyond compare
Does she make you feel
Feel different than I do
Do you still want me
Me, who still loves you
(c) Sanch Vee @ Sanch Writes (14 April 2017)
***
Loop Poetry is a poetry form created by Hellon. There are no restrictions on the number of stanzas nor on the syllable count for each line. In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two, last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3, last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4. This is followed for each stanza. The rhyme scheme is abcb.
This has been written for the 2017 A to Z Challenge
Shailaja V
14 April 2017 at 10:49 amI’ve started looking forward to how you’d change the poetic form daily and trying to guess which structure you’d implement. This is taking me back to college and literary appreciation all over again.
As for the poem, it’s so poignant in its heartbreaking appeal.
malraj
14 April 2017 at 12:19 pmThat’s a question which pierces your heart and aches you all over. I never knew this form of poetry and I am glad I stumbled upon this 😀
Duncan D. Horne
14 April 2017 at 12:42 pmThat’s really good, I like that!
Absolutely Amazing Alliteration
Vinay Leo R.
14 April 2017 at 1:00 pmI like the poem, poignant as it is.
I’ve tried my hand at loop poetry before, but I’ve gone with the loop through the poem actually. your way is better, though. 🙂 doesn’t force the loop or the rhyme.
Roshan Radhakrishnan
14 April 2017 at 2:40 pmThis series needs to be an ebook at the end… so if I were you I would start googling for ‘ebook cover images’ already 😀
Sanch, the writer
14 April 2017 at 4:44 pmLol thanks Roshan 🙂 I am thinking about it
Sreesha
14 April 2017 at 3:39 pmWe always question where we fell short when someone chooses someone else over us. This poem hit too close to home for me.
Loved the form!
Reema D'souza
14 April 2017 at 3:49 pmThe poem is just a poignant one. But I love the way you have used the structure of loop poetry to portray this.
Suzy
14 April 2017 at 6:57 pmAnother interesting form but a fun one. Your poem is however a tad sad. Perhaps best if she moved on – no point wasting time on a man who is with another.
Suzy at Someday Somewhere Live as if
Roma Gupta Sinha
14 April 2017 at 9:17 pmAnother great form, love to learn something new every time I am here ? This AtoZ is enriching for me in many ways. Thanks s heap.
Truly Yours Roma
Menaka Bharathi
14 April 2017 at 10:16 pmSuch a poignant poem….Yes think it brought memories where someone choose someone else over me..Still the question lingers in my mind 🙁
Launching SIM Organics This April
*Menaka Bharathi *
*SimpleIndianMom*
Karnika Kapoor
14 April 2017 at 11:18 pmThat poem just broke my heart!
I like how you explain the type and kind of poetry, I had read your previous post Kyrielle and learned about different forms of poetry.
Thanks for sharing
Best Wishes!
Shalini
15 April 2017 at 12:04 amThis is brilliant. I loved this form of poetry for its rhythm. And as usual you have penned down a gem of a poem to enable peeps to understand the form.
One of the best blogs I am reading on #atozchallenge 🙂
Leather that weathers in Pushkar
Soumya
15 April 2017 at 12:55 amThis seems like something I might be able to do.
Shalini R
15 April 2017 at 2:42 amI so so so loved this one, Sanch! This is bloody brilliant. I loved the loop concept! <3
Vidya Sury
15 April 2017 at 3:09 amI like the form, Sanch! You’ve written it beautifully!
Team MocktailMommies
15 April 2017 at 3:52 amLoop poetry seemed like a relay race. With words this relay has conveyed drama, emotions and a complete story so well that one cant resist reading and re-reading it!
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Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
Collage Of Life
Shilpa Garg
16 April 2017 at 12:14 pmOh wow! That’s wonderful. I like this form of poetry and am amazed at the way the words flowed so easily and meaningfully! Well done, Sanch!
Mike
17 April 2017 at 3:23 pmCreative!