Life

Longing for family

It’s almost a month since I moved up the coast. It seems to have sped by. I still haven’t unpacked all my stuff mainly because I’ve been busy most weekends. This past week, I’ve also been a bit sick. I think the stress of the last 6 weeks finally caught up with me — starting a new job, living out of a suitcase, packing, moving, unpacking, stressed out cats — all of it.

During these 6 weeks, I must admit, I’ve felt the need for my family so much more than I ever have in the past decade of living away from home. I’ve longed for my sister and have wished my parents were closer. I’ve had a couple of wonderful friends help out with some major stuff — like coming all the way up the coast to let the NBN guys in when I was at work — but I still wondered at other times how things could have been with family.

I hate asking for help. But I did ask a few friends and I’m glad I did. Yet, it made me more aware of the lack of family. Mr Imperfect tells me constantly that  I have him and his family but somehow, I continue to feel like it’s not the same. It’s not the same as picking up the phone and ringing my sister for a whinge. Or to have my mum look after me when I’m sick. Or call my sister and see if she wants to hang out. Or pop into mum and dad’s on a whim. It’s not the same.

While I love my friends, I realise we do have different paths. As it should be. It happens with most friendships. I have friends who want to travel the world. Friends who want to start families of their own. Friends who will catch up but only on occasions. I’m not someone who wants to travel the world. I’m content travelling around our beautiful country and currently, exploring the place I’ve moved to. I’m not someone who wants kids. I’m happy with my cats and may consider a dog. And in all these ways, I’m on a different path to my friends.

So once again, I feel like if I had family close by, maybe the different paths wouldn’t bother me so much. Maybe that fear of loneliness wouldn’t be so pervasive. Maybe I’d be able to enjoy the beauty around me — the beach, the bush, the mountains, the city — without the gloom of ‘going it alone’.

It’s not that I’m super close to my family. It’s not like I don’t fight with my sister or that we don’t irritate each other when we are together.

It’s just nice knowing they will be there when I need them.

It’d be nicer if it was not on a separate continent but rather, somewhere nearby.

Do you have family close by?

If you don’t, how do you cope?

Do share!

***Linking with Denyse for Life this week, Alicia for Open Slather and Mackenzie for MG***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

 

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  • Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    14 November 2016 at 8:52 am

    My parents are an hour away. It’s good having them close at hand.

  • Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    14 November 2016 at 8:52 am

    My parents are an hour away. It’s good having them close at hand.

  • Linda @ In An Unguarded Moment
    14 November 2016 at 9:04 am

    I feel for you…. a country away is a long way away. We have a tiny family… my Dad passed 18 years ago (I miss him so), and my brother lives interstate. My 86 year old Mum lives 2 mins away and I see her at least once a week when we sit down for a meal and an afternoon together. I’m so lucky to have her in my life so regularly and so close. She’s undergoing tests for heart problems at the moment, and it brings home the fact that she’s getting older and won’t be around forever. I can’t imagine life without her in it, but I know I’ll have to face it at some point. Just hoping it’s later rather than sooner.

  • Linda @ In An Unguarded Moment
    14 November 2016 at 9:04 am

    I feel for you…. a country away is a long way away. We have a tiny family… my Dad passed 18 years ago (I miss him so), and my brother lives interstate. My 86 year old Mum lives 2 mins away and I see her at least once a week when we sit down for a meal and an afternoon together. I’m so lucky to have her in my life so regularly and so close. She’s undergoing tests for heart problems at the moment, and it brings home the fact that she’s getting older and won’t be around forever. I can’t imagine life without her in it, but I know I’ll have to face it at some point. Just hoping it’s later rather than sooner.

  • Vanessa
    14 November 2016 at 11:16 am

    I don’t have family near me, but my in laws are amazing support. We try not to call on them as they have other things on their plate, but sometimes we have to. Thankfully it’s usually just for the use of their car/trailer!
    Vanessa recently posted…Minor Burn OutMy Profile

  • Vanessa
    14 November 2016 at 11:16 am

    I don’t have family near me, but my in laws are amazing support. We try not to call on them as they have other things on their plate, but sometimes we have to. Thankfully it’s usually just for the use of their car/trailer!
    Vanessa recently posted…Minor Burn OutMy Profile

  • Deborah
    14 November 2016 at 12:27 pm

    I’m a little the opposite as I lived away from mine after University. When I moved back to the country and back to Brissy in late 2001 I was in the same city as my bro and SIL but I mainly caught up with my niece in those days (she was 5 when I came back!). My bro and SIL haven’t ever really been particularly interested in my life I guess… wrapped up in their own lives.

    Then I moved closer to my mum 4yrs ago. Our towns are about 30mins (42kms) apart and that works out well as we don’t see each other TOO much but are handy if we need it. Plus I talk to her every day. Something I started doing after my dad passed away 5yrs ago.
    Deborah recently posted…Dreaming about examsMy Profile

  • Deborah
    14 November 2016 at 12:27 pm

    I’m a little the opposite as I lived away from mine after University. When I moved back to the country and back to Brissy in late 2001 I was in the same city as my bro and SIL but I mainly caught up with my niece in those days (she was 5 when I came back!). My bro and SIL haven’t ever really been particularly interested in my life I guess… wrapped up in their own lives.

    Then I moved closer to my mum 4yrs ago. Our towns are about 30mins (42kms) apart and that works out well as we don’t see each other TOO much but are handy if we need it. Plus I talk to her every day. Something I started doing after my dad passed away 5yrs ago.
    Deborah recently posted…Dreaming about examsMy Profile

  • Denyse
    14 November 2016 at 3:00 pm

    We moved away from being close to our grown kids and their families because selling in Sydney was the only way to relieve me of any more need to work (I was 65) and we had to get rid of a mortgage. However, even though we had been very involved in our children’s lives for the sake of caring for the grandchildren (on and off for for around 18 years as well as me working) the time came for that to stop. In fact, it was their initiative because family life changed for them.
    I have had to adjust majorly to not being family-oriented. I can also say that it has been helpful for me to grow my adult life for the first time ever. My husband and I have never been ‘just a couple’ for almost 45 years.
    I hear you on missing the connections and on the convenience of family nearby but we chose to move away and to be honest, for us, it has helped us stop ‘trying to still be parents to adults.’
    I wish you well in your transition. I can say after almost 2 years away some of it is feeling much better now for me.
    Thanks for linking up. Denyse #lifethisweek
    Denyse recently posted…Exams. #LTW10. 366/315.My Profile

  • Denyse
    14 November 2016 at 3:00 pm

    We moved away from being close to our grown kids and their families because selling in Sydney was the only way to relieve me of any more need to work (I was 65) and we had to get rid of a mortgage. However, even though we had been very involved in our children’s lives for the sake of caring for the grandchildren (on and off for for around 18 years as well as me working) the time came for that to stop. In fact, it was their initiative because family life changed for them.
    I have had to adjust majorly to not being family-oriented. I can also say that it has been helpful for me to grow my adult life for the first time ever. My husband and I have never been ‘just a couple’ for almost 45 years.
    I hear you on missing the connections and on the convenience of family nearby but we chose to move away and to be honest, for us, it has helped us stop ‘trying to still be parents to adults.’
    I wish you well in your transition. I can say after almost 2 years away some of it is feeling much better now for me.
    Thanks for linking up. Denyse #lifethisweek
    Denyse recently posted…Exams. #LTW10. 366/315.My Profile

  • Lata Sunil
    14 November 2016 at 3:40 pm

    My parents just landed at my place day before yesterday for 2 weeks of holidays for them. I am so glad. Agree, even if we fight, we still need them.

  • Lata Sunil
    14 November 2016 at 3:40 pm

    My parents just landed at my place day before yesterday for 2 weeks of holidays for them. I am so glad. Agree, even if we fight, we still need them.

  • Parul Thakur
    14 November 2016 at 3:40 pm

    I know what you mean. Like you, I was 17 when I left home for a life of my own and since then parents have been over 2000 miles away. Now with VT, it’s family but sometimes I too wish to walk to parents’ or just go sleep there at home. It’s not easy and I have accepted that this is my life. Away from Mum and Papa. I don’t have words to comfort you but know that we both are in almost the same boat. We have each other and then our Mr. Imperfects.
    Parul Thakur recently posted…The OCD I don’t suffer fromMy Profile

  • Parul Thakur
    14 November 2016 at 3:40 pm

    I know what you mean. Like you, I was 17 when I left home for a life of my own and since then parents have been over 2000 miles away. Now with VT, it’s family but sometimes I too wish to walk to parents’ or just go sleep there at home. It’s not easy and I have accepted that this is my life. Away from Mum and Papa. I don’t have words to comfort you but know that we both are in almost the same boat. We have each other and then our Mr. Imperfects.
    Parul Thakur recently posted…The OCD I don’t suffer fromMy Profile

  • Alicia O'Brien
    14 November 2016 at 9:56 pm

    I am lucky, I do have family close by. Going to Mum and Dads IS like a safehaven, of comfort and security. I feel for you that you don’t have your family close by.
    A month already?! That’s gone fast. Enjoy exploring your new surroundings with the people you do have close to you x

  • Alicia O'Brien
    14 November 2016 at 9:56 pm

    I am lucky, I do have family close by. Going to Mum and Dads IS like a safehaven, of comfort and security. I feel for you that you don’t have your family close by.
    A month already?! That’s gone fast. Enjoy exploring your new surroundings with the people you do have close to you x

  • Vidya Sury
    14 November 2016 at 11:05 pm

    Loneliness is not a nice feeling! Why not write a letter to your Mom? Do you Skype call with your family? Sending you warm hugs and love, Sanch. Hope you feel much better soon!
    Vidya Sury recently posted…How to be a Kindness Ninja #WorldKindnessDay #KindnessNinjaMy Profile

  • Vidya Sury
    14 November 2016 at 11:05 pm

    Loneliness is not a nice feeling! Why not write a letter to your Mom? Do you Skype call with your family? Sending you warm hugs and love, Sanch. Hope you feel much better soon!
    Vidya Sury recently posted…How to be a Kindness Ninja #WorldKindnessDay #KindnessNinjaMy Profile

  • menaka bharathi
    14 November 2016 at 11:33 pm

    This longing is going to stay long, almost everyone goes through this phase. You must not have missed the butterflies in your tummy whenever you think of your parents. You will overcome, believe me we have been there and know how it feels.

    You have all these gadgets these days to stay in touch, use them to your benefit!
    menaka bharathi recently posted…Mommy Moments and Me – My Bundles Of Joy-A Blog Hop For MomsMy Profile

  • menaka bharathi
    14 November 2016 at 11:33 pm

    This longing is going to stay long, almost everyone goes through this phase. You must not have missed the butterflies in your tummy whenever you think of your parents. You will overcome, believe me we have been there and know how it feels.

    You have all these gadgets these days to stay in touch, use them to your benefit!
    menaka bharathi recently posted…Mommy Moments and Me – My Bundles Of Joy-A Blog Hop For MomsMy Profile

  • Lucy
    14 November 2016 at 11:49 pm

    I have family close by. Like you, I think i’d struggle being far away. At least we have phones and internet to help us feel connected. But I agree, it’s not the same. #mg

  • Lucy
    14 November 2016 at 11:49 pm

    I have family close by. Like you, I think i’d struggle being far away. At least we have phones and internet to help us feel connected. But I agree, it’s not the same. #mg

  • Eli
    15 November 2016 at 4:57 am

    I can certainly understand how you feel. I lived for many years on the other side of the planet from my family. Happy now to have my dad living just up the street. Sending you warm thoughts and hugs
    Eli recently posted…The sweetest nectar is withinMy Profile

  • Eli
    15 November 2016 at 4:57 am

    I can certainly understand how you feel. I lived for many years on the other side of the planet from my family. Happy now to have my dad living just up the street. Sending you warm thoughts and hugs
    Eli recently posted…The sweetest nectar is withinMy Profile

  • Lisa@intotheglade
    15 November 2016 at 8:47 am

    We moved away when we were first married, I actually settled but my husband got terribly homesick, by homesick I mean for his family. It was awful to watch him try to fight it, I think it’s one of those things that anyone can suffer from. We ended up coming home because it just got too much for him. I really hope things work out for you – take care lovely xx #mg

  • Lisa@intotheglade
    15 November 2016 at 8:47 am

    We moved away when we were first married, I actually settled but my husband got terribly homesick, by homesick I mean for his family. It was awful to watch him try to fight it, I think it’s one of those things that anyone can suffer from. We ended up coming home because it just got too much for him. I really hope things work out for you – take care lovely xx #mg

  • Jan Wild
    15 November 2016 at 2:03 pm

    I think when you are sick or something else is wrong the need for comfort naturally means a wish for family, although as the years have gone by I have increasingly realised that family is not just blood related.

  • Jan Wild
    15 November 2016 at 2:03 pm

    I think when you are sick or something else is wrong the need for comfort naturally means a wish for family, although as the years have gone by I have increasingly realised that family is not just blood related.

  • Shilpa Gupte
    15 November 2016 at 4:06 pm

    My family lives nearby – it takes about 30 minutes to reach them by car. Anybody would feel I am lucky I can hop over anytime I feel like it. But that’s not the case. Sadly so. I miss them terribly, despite having a warm friend in my sister -in-law. Times I wish I could call them over, but not.all our wishes can be fulfilled, I know. So, I call them.up everyday. Morning and night, to talk out my heart with mum or to vent out my stress or even when I misplace something and can’t find it! Yes, I just have to call up mum and she helps me find it! Wonder what I would.do without her!
    I know how you must feel, living so far away from your folks. But, do call them up on a regular basis, in fact make it a daily ritual. At times, just hearing their voice drives away the blues and fills us with a renewed energy to carry on with our lives.

  • Shilpa Gupte
    15 November 2016 at 4:06 pm

    My family lives nearby – it takes about 30 minutes to reach them by car. Anybody would feel I am lucky I can hop over anytime I feel like it. But that’s not the case. Sadly so. I miss them terribly, despite having a warm friend in my sister -in-law. Times I wish I could call them over, but not.all our wishes can be fulfilled, I know. So, I call them.up everyday. Morning and night, to talk out my heart with mum or to vent out my stress or even when I misplace something and can’t find it! Yes, I just have to call up mum and she helps me find it! Wonder what I would.do without her!
    I know how you must feel, living so far away from your folks. But, do call them up on a regular basis, in fact make it a daily ritual. At times, just hearing their voice drives away the blues and fills us with a renewed energy to carry on with our lives.

  • Leri
    16 November 2016 at 12:40 am

    My father is close by, but we still struggle to get time to actually spend together; what with life getting in the way. However I do try and visit at least once a month. Family is so important and I must admit I miss being surrounded by my parental household, but I wouldn’t give up my little family for anything!
    #mg

  • Leri
    16 November 2016 at 12:40 am

    My father is close by, but we still struggle to get time to actually spend together; what with life getting in the way. However I do try and visit at least once a month. Family is so important and I must admit I miss being surrounded by my parental household, but I wouldn’t give up my little family for anything!
    #mg

  • Vinodini
    16 November 2016 at 1:56 am

    I recently moved back to my hometown so I have my parents around for time being. But I do take up work assignments in other cities and have lived by my own. So I do understand how it feels. Although, I’m sure having your family in another continent altogether is a different situation altogether. My brother lives in Sydney, and he does land up in similar phases like yours at times. I hope Skype and WhatsApp give you some kind of relief by keeping you connected with your folks. Take care. Hugs.❤

  • Vinodini
    16 November 2016 at 1:56 am

    I recently moved back to my hometown so I have my parents around for time being. But I do take up work assignments in other cities and have lived by my own. So I do understand how it feels. Although, I’m sure having your family in another continent altogether is a different situation altogether. My brother lives in Sydney, and he does land up in similar phases like yours at times. I hope Skype and WhatsApp give you some kind of relief by keeping you connected with your folks. Take care. Hugs.❤

  • Nabanita Dhar
    16 November 2016 at 5:03 pm

    Hugs, Sanch. My parents are in the same continent but I get to see them maybe once a year. It’s a blessing that I have my sister and so meeting her makes me feel so relieved. I’m like you too. I hate asking for help. and I don’t as well. So, I understand how you must be feeling. But don’t you feel down, you are strong and that is because they are there with you in your heart even if miles apart. Plan a trip to them whenever you get time. Though even that is not enough but it will help you feel little better 🙂
    Nabanita Dhar recently posted…#MommyTalks – The Flower In My GardenMy Profile

  • Nabanita Dhar
    16 November 2016 at 5:03 pm

    Hugs, Sanch. My parents are in the same continent but I get to see them maybe once a year. It’s a blessing that I have my sister and so meeting her makes me feel so relieved. I’m like you too. I hate asking for help. and I don’t as well. So, I understand how you must be feeling. But don’t you feel down, you are strong and that is because they are there with you in your heart even if miles apart. Plan a trip to them whenever you get time. Though even that is not enough but it will help you feel little better 🙂
    Nabanita Dhar recently posted…#MommyTalks – The Flower In My GardenMy Profile

  • texerinsydney
    16 November 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Oh, how I know this feeling all too well. I’m not trying to sound melodramatic, but I guess I’ve just learned there’s nothing to fill that void that I feel from time to time when I’m really missing my family. I am thankful for the abundance of ways that technology allows us to stay in touch, but there are some times when I feel that void. It’s all too real of a feeling. Yes, friends can be the family we choose (or however that cliché saying goes), and like you, I am appreciative of lovely friends.
    texerinsydney recently posted…Swappin’ Countries: Fall vs SpringMy Profile

  • texerinsydney
    16 November 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Oh, how I know this feeling all too well. I’m not trying to sound melodramatic, but I guess I’ve just learned there’s nothing to fill that void that I feel from time to time when I’m really missing my family. I am thankful for the abundance of ways that technology allows us to stay in touch, but there are some times when I feel that void. It’s all too real of a feeling. Yes, friends can be the family we choose (or however that cliché saying goes), and like you, I am appreciative of lovely friends.
    texerinsydney recently posted…Swappin’ Countries: Fall vs SpringMy Profile

  • Sid
    17 November 2016 at 8:33 pm

    I feel for you, Sanch. In fact, that’s one of the reasons we decided to move back. To be closer to family. But in retrospect, I do think it was more an emotion-fuelled decision than anything else.
    I believe that after a point in life, your friends sort of tend to be that family that you don;t have nearby. At least in my experience of ‘people having been there’, it is.
    Good luck, and glad to hear you’re settling in alright.
    Sid recently posted…Begin AgainMy Profile

  • Mackenzie Glanville
    18 November 2016 at 9:33 pm

    oh honey I am sorry you have been unwell and too busy and having worried cats too! I think everything feels even worse when we are not getting enough sleep or rest. Make sure you look after yourself, eat well, enjoy walks on that gorgeous beach and remember that you are loved. Sometimes when we are in new places we have to put ourselves out of our comfort zone initially so when can make new relationships that eventually bring us such comfort and happiness xxx #mg
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Never work with children or animals!My Profile

  • The month that was November 2016 - Living my Imperfect Life
    1 December 2016 at 5:29 am

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