Life lessons

On creating yourself #FridayReflections

Have you found yourself yet?

For a long time, I have been sceptical about people who ‘find themselves’. I didn’t bother to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love because it seemed to be about a woman ‘finding herself’ in India or Thailand. On a side note, what I find amusing is how most people from the western world ‘find themselves’ in developing countries. In that case, I’ve never needed to find myself having been born there and lived there for over a decade.

I’ve never understood the need to find oneself. How do you even do it? What is it even about? Is it one of those #FirstWorldProblem things we keep jabbering on about? Do you only find yourself if you quit your job without a backup plan? Or if you travel and that too, preferably to developing countries? What if you didn’t do either? Would that mean you’d forever be lost?

I ask this seriously because through the last twelve months, I felt like I lost myself. My old self, that is. Depression made me someone I no longer recognised. And sure, I did want to go back to being that self again but honestly, after the emotional blows I endured, I don’t think I ever will go back to exactly that self. I don’t think I’ll find that self again. I’m wiser, older and more vulnerable.

On the other hand, the idea of creating myself appeals to me.

I can continue to create myself in spite of all the falls. I can learn to trust again — that’s creating myself. I can put my wellbeing first and  make decisions — that’s creating myself. I can get out of my comfort zone and make a coastal change I’ve been dreaming of — that’s creating myself.

With every experience, every fall, ever high-five, I will learn something new. Something that forms a part of my personality. That leaves battle-scars and signs of hard work. Through all this, I will be creating myself. I’ll learn what annoys me, what makes me anxious, what breaks my heart and use different ways to manage these emotions. Once again, I’ll be creating myself.

Next year, I won’t be who I am now, and hopefully, the year after, I won’t be who I am tomorrow. I’ll be living, breathing and more importantly, growing. At least, that’s what I hope. And in this process of growing, I don’t think I’ll ever find myself. But I certainly will be creating myself.

Finding oneself has a finality to it. But creating oneself? That’s a lifelong journey. 

Are you looking to find yourself or do you think life is about creating yourself?

Do share! 

Living my Imperfect Life

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Write Tribe and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up every Friday. The link will be open till the Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Prompts for this week:

1. Write a story or poem that begins with a character throwing a coin into a fountain

2. Write about something you’ve heard or read from an authority figure/organisation that you don’t agree with. Attempt a persuasive essay to convince us of another view.

3. Phobias: Have you got any? Share one of the quirkiest

4. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw. Use this quote in your post or as an inspiration

5. Picture Prompt (via


We are in the process of deciding who the featured writer for last week is. In the mean time though, if you want to be in the running to be our next featured writer, make sure you write a post on one of the prompts and link up! 

Until next time,



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  • Vishal Bheeroo
    9 September 2016 at 12:39 am

    Agree with your thought on the quest in the journey of not only knowing and finding myself. I did face depression and lull where I couldn’t recognize myself till one day I decided to reclaim me. I still don’t me as a soul and trying to explore that one as a human being. Slowly, I am trying!

    Beautiful reflection!
    Vishal Bheeroo recently posted…Drop of waves, rain and starry nightsMy Profile

  • Ness
    9 September 2016 at 12:22 pm

    The expression ‘finding yourself’ can sound so pretentious and self-indulgent. But I love what you say about creating yourself. Meanwhile certain things just happen in life that you have no control over and they often help to shape your character as well.
    Ness recently posted…Friday Reflections: Careful What You Wish ForMy Profile

  • Sunaina Bhatia
    10 September 2016 at 8:48 pm

    Finding oneself doesn’t come easy…..When you are creating yourself, in a way, you are finding yourself, I feel. The two go together….The fight, the struggle, the creation, the calm, the anxiety – can they be separate from each other? I don’t think so. But finding oneself ins’t a momentary thing either….just like creating…It is an ongoing process…..You create, and you find a wee bit more of you……
    Sunaina Bhatia recently posted…“Hold Fast to Dreams….”My Profile

  • Rowena
    11 September 2016 at 7:49 pm

    Very interesting reading your post and the comments which follow. My gut response is that I don’t like the idea of creating yourself and that this seems potentially fake, put on, an addition. That said, it could also be a choice. I you choose to be this , rather than that is that real? Can it become part of who we are? Isn’t it better to spread our wings and expand our ideas about who we are than cut them off? However, what if the pruning process enables us to find who we really are. Not the person trying to fit in places e don’t really belong. The person without airs and graces? This is also what happens when you go through serious adversity and you have so much stripped away and when all you have left is the contents of your heart and your mind, you know what matters. What you can be bothered with and what belongs to someone else. This shouldn’t be a self-indulgent process but part of growing up, maturing just like a seed growing into a tree but you want a tree which bears fruit. Gives back.
    I had a few issues with Eat Pray Love because I couldn’t travel at the time and was a Mum with a 5 year old and a 3 year old but it did have some good points. Not sure it warranted its sales figures though.
    xx Rowena
    Rowena recently posted…Paralympics Weekend Coffee Share.My Profile

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    12 September 2016 at 1:24 am

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  • Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic
    17 September 2016 at 11:37 pm

    “Finding oneself has a finality to it. But creating oneself? That’s a lifelong journey. ” – Oh I love this! It’s a wonderful way to look at life!
    Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic recently posted…The Ultimate Rabbit Hole #85My Profile