All about the mind

The not good enough story #FridayReflections

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was the centre of her mum and dad’s world. She was the first-born child and had confidence that was way beyond her years. When she started kindergarten before the age of three, she felt right at home. After all, school was where she wanted to be. However, at that young age, she learnt two lessons the hard way. One was that adults could let you down and the other, some people could not be trusted. Yet, she didn’t let this break her completely. She continued to be vocal and boss others around.

Her primary school years were filled with studies, competitions, play and friends. She stood first or second in most of her exams and almost always finished at the top of the class. She participated and won in most public speaking competitions. She danced. She sang. She tried to do it all.

When she was merely ten years old and about to finish grade 5, she learnt the family would be moving. She was devastated to be leaving her friends and her beloved school. She began grade six at a new school in a new country. That first year was tough.

She had to get used to new school hours, new people, a new syllabus, a new way of living. Unfortunately for her, she bombed in her first tests. ‘I expected better from you,’ said her teacher, shaking her head in disappointment. ‘You could have done better,’ said her parents. She was not even close to the top three. ‘You can do better next time,’ said her parents.

So she tried harder. But again and again, no matter what she did, she didn’t land in the top three. She participated in competitions and didn’t win a single prize. Her reports throughout the year said ‘Can do better.’ In grade seven and aged 11, she got good marks in English. But the misery continued in maths, science, history, geography and hindi. ‘Has the potential to do better.’ said every report. Soon she realised, that she just wasn’t good enough academically. She tried out for a competition and was humiliated in front of her peers by a teacher. Another teacher brought her to tears in the class by making fun of her hair. This same teacher later brought her to tears at a parent-teacher night by telling her mother how she would amount to nothing.

Not good enough.

The girl went into her shell. She stopped participating in competitions. She lost all confidence and doubted herself. She disliked how she was fat and wore glasses. She realised she was just not good enough. This belief followed her through school and later, through college and university. There were always comments of how she could do better, therefore justifying her belief that she just wasn’t good enough.

She worried about letting everyone down. Letting her parents down. She worried she’d never get a job. She’d never achieve her dreams. Because she wasn’t good enough.

But then, she surprised herself. She managed to achieve a lot of her dreams and when she met new people and new friends, they all called her brave. They seemed to think she was enough. It wasn’t her marks or her looks or how she spoke. It was for who she was. Good friends stuck by her. She found someone to love. Her pets never judged her. Her parents are proud of what she’s made of her life. Her sister looks up to her.

Yet, in stressful times and moments of doubt, a little voice continues to speak in her head ‘Not good enough.’

She hopes some day she can obliterate this voice once and for all. That one day she can stand tall and proclaim ‘I am enough‘. She hopes that regardless of her job, her income, her house, her lifestyle, her looks, her weight, her achievements, she can attest ‘I am enough‘. She hopes that soon she can accept her imperfections and truly believe ‘I am enough‘.

Have you got a ‘not good enough’ story? Or do you believe you are enough?

Do share!!!

Living my Imperfect Life

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Write Tribe and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Prompts for this week:
1. What’s your favourite season of the year? Write a post about that either in the form of an essay or a creative piece
2. Go people watching and write an ode to a stranger you see on the street
3. Are you a pushover? Do you find it hard to say no? Share your learnings and experiences.
4. “I am enough” – Brene Brown. Use this quote as an inspiration for your post or within your post
5. Picture Prompt (credit: Everyday Gyaan)

friday-reflections-17Jun2016

Our featured writer for last week was Parul for her reflective post on Friday evenings — a time most of us look forward to! 

Until next time,
Cheers!!!

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  • Fatima
    17 June 2016 at 12:52 am

    Love love love this

    You are more then enough your are inspiring

  • Lata Sunil
    17 June 2016 at 1:27 am

    Its written so well, i loved it. Well, we cannot make everyone happy all the time, we need to just make ourselves happy.

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      17 June 2016 at 2:29 pm

      Thank you Lata. Unfortunately others’ expectations can result in is forming certain beliefs which then take years to change

  • Truly Happy
    17 June 2016 at 4:59 am

    Candid post. lovely writing.

    I am angry at that teacher who humiliated the girl. Thats appalling.

    I am glad the girl is doing very well and to me clearly she appears ‘more’ than ‘enough’.

  • Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    17 June 2016 at 7:58 am

    I was just thinking about this this morning. So often the biggest obstacle we face, is ourselves and thinking that we are not enough. You should be so proud of what you have achieved. You are enough PLUS!
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  • Amy @ Handbagmafia
    17 June 2016 at 9:02 am

    So many similarities with teachers who let me down. Sigh! But I’m doing okay now!

  • Vanessa
    17 June 2016 at 10:24 am

    My old school reports are interesting. I can see clearly that I am excellent at things until I get bored. Then there’s just no hope!
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  • Vinay Leo R.
    17 June 2016 at 7:17 pm

    I can relate. When life becomes about finishing top every single time, and a lapse would be considered the end of the world, it seems a very tough task to live up to expectations. I’ve been there. The feeling went away only when some friends came into my life and showed me it’s okay to compete but not win. whatever place I finish is good enough, and that it doesn’t define me. 🙂
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  • Grace
    17 June 2016 at 7:51 pm

    When I was working 4 days a week, driving all around Sydney, I was really feeling inadequate. If I was giving my job 100% I would feel guilty because I was letting my family down and vice versa. Always a tough balance, a constant juggle. I’m feeling so much better now I’ve quit that job. Whenever I start thinking “I’m not enough”, I stop myself and remember just how far I’ve come. That always helps.
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  • Dashy
    18 June 2016 at 2:22 am

    That feeling haunted me throughout school, still does at times. It takes courage, and some earned respect and approval to get over it. Of course, to be on the top mustn’t be our aim, but to be ourselves, one of a kind.
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  • Bhavya
    19 June 2016 at 2:04 am

    You are more than enough Sanch 🙂 and no matter what people say, Noone else can be You <3

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    19 June 2016 at 8:07 pm

    The weight of expectations can be so heavy. Thank you for another beautifully authentic post. YOU are ENGOUH. ♥
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  • Esha M Dutta
    20 June 2016 at 6:18 pm

    I totally understand how you feel when that quiet voice whispers things you don’t want to hear. Happens to me too. I loved your candid post because I can relate to many of the things. No more, though, because I have now learnt to drown that voice finally. Well, most of the times, let’s be honest.

  • Linda
    20 June 2016 at 6:40 pm

    I am a teacher, and I am horrified at the things that were said to you. That sort of abhorrent behaviour makes my blood boil. How dare they say things like that to a young, vulnerable girl, let alone anyone at all. Ugh. I’m so glad you’ve found people in your life to support and uplift you, but most of all I’m glad you’re you. You are definitely enough. xox

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