All about the mind

I miss you #FridayReflections

You used to be so vibrant, so full of life. Laughter came easily to you. Sometimes loud and clear or sometimes, in giggly spurts. You made noises. Weird ones. Just because you could. Just because it would evoke a laugh from the person next to you. You always spoke your mind. Confident in your views, cynical or not. You loved adventure and were so very brave. You took risks. Some big, some calculated. If they worked out, you whooped with joy. If they didn’t, you learnt from it and tried something different.

You loved your work. Helping others meant so much to you. You gave it your all. Sometimes, you broke at the horrors of the stories shared with you. But never in front of those who needed your help. No. For them, you were always strong. Always poised. Always helpful. You weren’t fake, of course. You owned up to having your own shit at times. Having stuff to deal with. You were authentic and you cared.

You sang out loud to songs in the car no matter how tone deaf you were. Anyone could tell it brought you joy to rock to the tunes of Karnivool or The Living End. You exercised a lot and loved it, even jumping out of bed on cold mornings to get there. You took pride in your appearance and loved being fit. You dressed pretty stylishly; your selfies with your outfits certainly said that. While you looked forward to weekends, it was always because of the adventures that awaited you.

But somewhere along the way, something happened.

You lost you laugh and when you did try, it sounded strange. Almost forced. You lost the shine in your eyes and the crinkles on the end. You still smiled for others, but it was no longer genuine. Like the makeup covering your dark circles and facial blemishes, your fake smile covered the sadness and pain. Exercising has become a chore and not something you love. You still cared about those your helped but your heart wasn’t completely in it. You became unkind and intolerant of those close to you. You looked forward to weekends to be able to curl up in bed and away from others. You ceased your adventures and drew inwards. Gone was the confident brave woman of the last two years. Instead, there remained a shadow of her former self.

You look the same on the outside but to those who know you well, you are no longer here.

I miss you. I miss you, my old self. 

I miss the woman I used to be.

Although I am reaching out, I still know it’ll take time before I can be who I was. I know in time, the cracks will mend and the laughter and adventures will be back.

Even when I get there though, I fear that forever, a little light will always be lost.

Who do you currently miss?

Do share!

Living my Imperfect Life

If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.

Write Tribe and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.

Feel free to add our Friday Reflections badge to your post or sidebar! Follow us on Twitter @FridayReflect and join our Facebook Group. Share your post on social media with the hashtag #FridayReflections.

Prompts for this week:

1. A teacher I admired and why
2. Write about someone you miss dearly
3. Choose a prompt from the month of May that you’ve not written about before and write a post. You can find them here
4. Use this quote to inspire your post or within it: “Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice”. – Bob Goff
5. Picture prompt (c) Living my Imperfect Life

P1020514

Our featured writer for last week was Leanne who told us to embrace chaos.

***Also linking with Grace for FYBF***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

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  • Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    27 May 2016 at 7:57 am

    Beautifully written!
    I miss my bestie who lives in Pennsylvania. She’s so much a part of who I am.
    I don’t miss my old self … I am lucky in that I like my newer version better.
    x o x o

  • Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    27 May 2016 at 7:57 am

    Beautifully written!
    I miss my bestie who lives in Pennsylvania. She’s so much a part of who I am.
    I don’t miss my old self … I am lucky in that I like my newer version better.
    x o x o

  • Leanne
    27 May 2016 at 12:04 pm

    that was so sad Sanch – it’s really tough when you lose yourself – when you know who you were but wonder how to get back there (or if you ever will) I have come close to that point a few years ago and it took time but I think I’ve found myself again – blogging helped a lot (finding positive like-minded people), changing jobs, re-inventing my marriage, so many steps along the way. I wish you all the best as you re-discover the woman you are xx
    Leanne recently posted…#12 Embrace WisdomMy Profile

  • Leanne
    27 May 2016 at 12:04 pm

    that was so sad Sanch – it’s really tough when you lose yourself – when you know who you were but wonder how to get back there (or if you ever will) I have come close to that point a few years ago and it took time but I think I’ve found myself again – blogging helped a lot (finding positive like-minded people), changing jobs, re-inventing my marriage, so many steps along the way. I wish you all the best as you re-discover the woman you are xx
    Leanne recently posted…#12 Embrace WisdomMy Profile

  • Sunila Vig
    27 May 2016 at 12:10 pm

    Sanch, a touching post, even wrenching to the gut. Coz I recognised that this happened to em a few times in life and I did pull through and learnt from the whole experience but a tiny spark was left behind somewhere in the atmosphere-each time. Maybe that is how it is meant to be. I am content and at peace and thankful of some wisdom and inner tools gathered along the way. Hugs. What do I miss, maybe my dearest friend who is the only person I tell my deepest stuff.

  • Sunila Vig
    27 May 2016 at 12:10 pm

    Sanch, a touching post, even wrenching to the gut. Coz I recognised that this happened to em a few times in life and I did pull through and learnt from the whole experience but a tiny spark was left behind somewhere in the atmosphere-each time. Maybe that is how it is meant to be. I am content and at peace and thankful of some wisdom and inner tools gathered along the way. Hugs. What do I miss, maybe my dearest friend who is the only person I tell my deepest stuff.

  • Ashleigh My Meow
    27 May 2016 at 4:21 pm

    She will be back. Promise.
    Ashleigh My Meow recently posted…Tails on Tuesday: Whiskas #CatHacksMy Profile

  • Ashleigh My Meow
    27 May 2016 at 4:21 pm

    She will be back. Promise.
    Ashleigh My Meow recently posted…Tails on Tuesday: Whiskas #CatHacksMy Profile

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    27 May 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Feeling for you right now – I hope you find your old self soon. Yes it will take time and effort but it will be worth it x
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Trusting your instinctsMy Profile

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    27 May 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Feeling for you right now – I hope you find your old self soon. Yes it will take time and effort but it will be worth it x
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Trusting your instinctsMy Profile

  • Parul
    27 May 2016 at 6:33 pm

    That was sad and I hope you get her back soon. I have been there but got back and since then I’ve never let her go.
    Know that you have a friend this side. Hugs!
    Parul recently posted…A Decade of Love..My Profile

  • Parul
    27 May 2016 at 6:33 pm

    That was sad and I hope you get her back soon. I have been there but got back and since then I’ve never let her go.
    Know that you have a friend this side. Hugs!
    Parul recently posted…A Decade of Love..My Profile

  • Vishal Bheeroo
    27 May 2016 at 7:26 pm

    I can relate to this post for still miss the fun loving, zany and super confident me as age whizzed past. I am trying to find the Real ME. A super duper awesome post:)
    Vishal Bheeroo recently posted…The Enchantress: Ramona ArenaMy Profile

  • Vishal Bheeroo
    27 May 2016 at 7:26 pm

    I can relate to this post for still miss the fun loving, zany and super confident me as age whizzed past. I am trying to find the Real ME. A super duper awesome post:)
    Vishal Bheeroo recently posted…The Enchantress: Ramona ArenaMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    28 May 2016 at 2:10 am

    Hugs… Your authenticity shines through, my friend. I’ve felt that way too and blamed myself, but then I picked up the pieces of ‘me’ and recreated myself. I’m certain you’re on your way to wholeness.

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    28 May 2016 at 2:10 am

    Hugs… Your authenticity shines through, my friend. I’ve felt that way too and blamed myself, but then I picked up the pieces of ‘me’ and recreated myself. I’m certain you’re on your way to wholeness.

  • Bellybytes
    28 May 2016 at 12:40 pm

    It’s strange ! Perhaps we are kindred spirits after all for I had the very same thought – missing the old me, the five year old me who was still wide eyed with wonder ! But sadly we all have to change and I’m sure you’ll love the new you and one day you’ll miss her too!
    Bellybytes recently posted…Tring, tring, telephoneMy Profile

  • Bellybytes
    28 May 2016 at 12:40 pm

    It’s strange ! Perhaps we are kindred spirits after all for I had the very same thought – missing the old me, the five year old me who was still wide eyed with wonder ! But sadly we all have to change and I’m sure you’ll love the new you and one day you’ll miss her too!
    Bellybytes recently posted…Tring, tring, telephoneMy Profile

  • Vinitha
    29 May 2016 at 2:45 am

    Touching post, Sanch! Honestly, I can relate with you to an extent. Sometimes I do feel lost and wonder where my old self had gone. Your admittance and attitude to help yourself will definitely help you through, dear. Hugs! 🙂 <3
    Vinitha recently posted…This thing called Life!My Profile

  • Vinitha
    29 May 2016 at 2:45 am

    Touching post, Sanch! Honestly, I can relate with you to an extent. Sometimes I do feel lost and wonder where my old self had gone. Your admittance and attitude to help yourself will definitely help you through, dear. Hugs! 🙂 <3
    Vinitha recently posted…This thing called Life!My Profile

  • Suzy
    29 May 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Life is full of ups and downs. When the hard times come I remind myself that “This too shall pass” Sometimes we need to go through the darkness to grow and to appreciate the light. Sending you love and hugs.
    Suzy recently posted…Express The Love #SoCS #FridayReflectionsMy Profile

  • Suzy
    29 May 2016 at 7:51 pm

    Life is full of ups and downs. When the hard times come I remind myself that “This too shall pass” Sometimes we need to go through the darkness to grow and to appreciate the light. Sending you love and hugs.
    Suzy recently posted…Express The Love #SoCS #FridayReflectionsMy Profile

  • Dashy
    29 May 2016 at 10:45 pm

    This reminded me of someone dear to me who I miss badly. It is sad when one’s own self parts with you. I hope you find yourself soon. Love.
    Dashy recently posted…The Phone CallMy Profile

  • Dashy
    29 May 2016 at 10:45 pm

    This reminded me of someone dear to me who I miss badly. It is sad when one’s own self parts with you. I hope you find yourself soon. Love.
    Dashy recently posted…The Phone CallMy Profile

  • Grace
    31 May 2016 at 11:08 am

    Oh, lovely. I know how your feel. I hope you find yourself again very soon. Keep doing the things you love and hopefully that will help you get there x

  • Grace
    31 May 2016 at 11:08 am

    Oh, lovely. I know how your feel. I hope you find yourself again very soon. Keep doing the things you love and hopefully that will help you get there x

  • Mithila Menezes @Fabulus1710
    31 May 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Losing yourself and becoming someone different is like creating a maze away from your old self. Only you know the entire master plan, only you know the exact route back to the centre. But there are a few difficulties- maybe you’ve lost the thread, maybe you’ve misplaced the blueprint.
    But in the end, gut feeling, and just knowing your way back home will take you back to your old self.
    Do take care, Sanch. You’re doing an amazing job with expressing yourself, and I’m sure you’ll be fine soon. 🙂
    Mithila Menezes @Fabulus1710 recently posted…When Death Comes Calling..My Profile

  • Mithila Menezes @Fabulus1710
    31 May 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Losing yourself and becoming someone different is like creating a maze away from your old self. Only you know the entire master plan, only you know the exact route back to the centre. But there are a few difficulties- maybe you’ve lost the thread, maybe you’ve misplaced the blueprint.
    But in the end, gut feeling, and just knowing your way back home will take you back to your old self.
    Do take care, Sanch. You’re doing an amazing job with expressing yourself, and I’m sure you’ll be fine soon. 🙂
    Mithila Menezes @Fabulus1710 recently posted…When Death Comes Calling..My Profile

  • Aneesha
    31 May 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Sorry to read that the shine has gone out. Can truly understand and relate being an active person and gym lover myself. Perhaps try meditation and new hobbies. We all go through downs in life but have to be optimistic. Hope you find your old self soon. Xx

  • Aneesha
    31 May 2016 at 9:51 pm

    Sorry to read that the shine has gone out. Can truly understand and relate being an active person and gym lover myself. Perhaps try meditation and new hobbies. We all go through downs in life but have to be optimistic. Hope you find your old self soon. Xx

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  • Zita
    6 June 2016 at 8:36 pm

    I really hope you are able to find your way back to where you want and need to be. I’ve been following along the sidelines with what’s going on with you and I really hope you are able to make things work again for YOU!
    Zita recently posted…til next time…My Profile

  • Zita
    6 June 2016 at 8:36 pm

    I really hope you are able to find your way back to where you want and need to be. I’ve been following along the sidelines with what’s going on with you and I really hope you are able to make things work again for YOU!
    Zita recently posted…til next time…My Profile

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