You used to be so vibrant, so full of life. Laughter came easily to you. Sometimes loud and clear or sometimes, in giggly spurts. You made noises. Weird ones. Just because you could. Just because it would evoke a laugh from the person next to you. You always spoke your mind. Confident in your views, cynical or not. You loved adventure and were so very brave. You took risks. Some big, some calculated. If they worked out, you whooped with joy. If they didn’t, you learnt from it and tried something different.
You loved your work. Helping others meant so much to you. You gave it your all. Sometimes, you broke at the horrors of the stories shared with you. But never in front of those who needed your help. No. For them, you were always strong. Always poised. Always helpful. You weren’t fake, of course. You owned up to having your own shit at times. Having stuff to deal with. You were authentic and you cared.
You sang out loud to songs in the car no matter how tone deaf you were. Anyone could tell it brought you joy to rock to the tunes of Karnivool or The Living End. You exercised a lot and loved it, even jumping out of bed on cold mornings to get there. You took pride in your appearance and loved being fit. You dressed pretty stylishly; your selfies with your outfits certainly said that. While you looked forward to weekends, it was always because of the adventures that awaited you.
But somewhere along the way, something happened.
You lost you laugh and when you did try, it sounded strange. Almost forced. You lost the shine in your eyes and the crinkles on the end. You still smiled for others, but it was no longer genuine. Like the makeup covering your dark circles and facial blemishes, your fake smile covered the sadness and pain. Exercising has become a chore and not something you love. You still cared about those your helped but your heart wasn’t completely in it. You became unkind and intolerant of those close to you. You looked forward to weekends to be able to curl up in bed and away from others. You ceased your adventures and drew inwards. Gone was the confident brave woman of the last two years. Instead, there remained a shadow of her former self.
You look the same on the outside but to those who know you well, you are no longer here.
I miss you. I miss you, my old self.
I miss the woman I used to be.
Even when I get there though, I fear that forever, a little light will always be lost.
Who do you currently miss?
If you are new to Friday Reflections, here’s what it’s about. It’s the end of the week, you’re probably exhausted with work, and all you want to do is sit back, put your feet up, sip on some fancy cocktail or wine, and write away.
Write Tribe and yours truly give you writing prompts and all you have to do is choose any one of those prompts to blog about and link up between Friday and Monday. After you link up, be sure to spread the love by visiting other bloggers who have linked up too.
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Prompts for this week:
1. A teacher I admired and why
2. Write about someone you miss dearly
3. Choose a prompt from the month of May that you’ve not written about before and write a post. You can find them here
4. Use this quote to inspire your post or within it: “Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice”. – Bob Goff
5. Picture prompt (c) Living my Imperfect Life
Our featured writer for last week was Leanne who told us to embrace chaos.
***Also linking with Grace for FYBF***
Until next time,