Life

RSVP: Maybe

You receive an invitation for an event. A beautiful card with the date, time and venue. Or a phone call with the details. It’s a birthday, a wedding, a get-together. You have your response options: Yes. No. And the date by when to let the host know.

You look through your diary and see if you’re available. If there’s nothing planned for that day, you send a reply. RSVP: Yes. Or else, you notice it’s grandma’s 70th birthday. You reply with RSVP: No {and call your friend and let them know the reason}.

***

You receive an invitation to an event on Facebook. It has the date, time and venue with the plan. It’s a birthday, a dinner, a get-together or just an outing. You have your response options: Yes. No. Maybe.

You look through the list of invitees. You look through your diary to see if you’re available. If you’re free, like the person who has invited you, and like most of the invitees, you RSVP: Yes.

If it’s your grandma’s 100th birthday or you already have dinner plans with someone else that night, you RSVP: No. And leave a comment with your reason.

If you are not particularly fond of the person, or you don’t like the some of the people going, or most likely, you just want a better option to come up closer to the day, you RSVP: Maybe. You know, so you can always back out when something better comes up.

***

When did ‘Maybe’ become a form of responding to an invite? Call me old-fashioned but you either know if you are free or you know you are not. And yes, sometimes, on the day of the event, you may fall sick or have a child who is sick which might need you to change your RSVP. Having the option to say ‘maybe’ makes no sense.

Most people are pretty organised. Whether you have children or not, you are generally aware of things like birthdays, school music nights, comedy shows or concerts. In my world, I also have things like my book club, hiking or camping trips, blogging groups planned in advance. Dinners I understand are not always planned but if I commit to one and then another comes up the same day, I will always go to the first one.

Because you know what? I RSVPed yes. I made a commitment.

So when I see people responding with a ‘Maybe’, it really annoys me. I’d prefer a straight ‘No’ over a ‘Maybe’. To me, a ‘maybe’ says they are waiting for something better. A ‘maybe’ says if a better option doesn’t come up, they will join this event. A ‘maybe’ says you’re not important enough to them.

Social media has done a lot of good in connecting us across the globe. But it has also made us pettier, meaner and lot more insensitive to other human beings. With the advent of the ‘maybe’ it has also allowed people to not commit to things. To not keep their word. To chop and change as they please. Without a care for others.

We need to go back to two options: Yes or No.

But more importantly, we need to learn to make a commitment and stick to it {within reason}.

What are your views on ‘Maybe’ as an option when you RSVP?

Do share!

***Linking with Kirsty for I must confess, Alicia for Open Slather and Corinne for Monday Musings***

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

SANCH_sig1

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  • Vanessa
    18 April 2016 at 5:04 am

    Maybe for me means I’ll judge based on my energy levels that day.
    Vanessa recently posted…Planning A StaycationMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      18 April 2016 at 5:10 am

      You know, even with that, I’d consider it similar to being sick if you are too tired which would mean changing rsvp from yes to no would be OK.

      • Vanessa
        18 April 2016 at 9:46 am

        That’s true!

  • Vanessa
    18 April 2016 at 5:04 am

    Maybe for me means I’ll judge based on my energy levels that day.
    Vanessa recently posted…Planning A StaycationMy Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      18 April 2016 at 5:10 am

      You know, even with that, I’d consider it similar to being sick if you are too tired which would mean changing rsvp from yes to no would be OK.

      • Vanessa
        18 April 2016 at 9:46 am

        That’s true!

  • Pinky Poinker
    18 April 2016 at 8:23 am

    I couldn’t agree more, Sanch. Maybe is just rude. All is says is that you aren’t saying no.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…I’m Noodled and Need Your Opinion!My Profile

  • Pinky Poinker
    18 April 2016 at 8:23 am

    I couldn’t agree more, Sanch. Maybe is just rude. All is says is that you aren’t saying no.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…I’m Noodled and Need Your Opinion!My Profile

  • jess
    18 April 2016 at 9:11 am

    I am totally guilty of the Maybe answer, and it is usually because I just dont want to commit to something that I am not enthusiastic about. Which is so unfair, because I should just man up and say no!

  • jess
    18 April 2016 at 9:11 am

    I am totally guilty of the Maybe answer, and it is usually because I just dont want to commit to something that I am not enthusiastic about. Which is so unfair, because I should just man up and say no!

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    18 April 2016 at 10:50 am

    Right you are, Sanch. It’s not old-fashioned, it’s just good manners. It’s a nightmare for organizers. I’ve marked ‘maybe’ on a couple of invites, but made sure I went and changed it to a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ well in advance.

    Of late, I’ve found people doing this about meeting in person too!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…99 Things I Am Grateful For #FridayReflections #everydaygratitudeMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    18 April 2016 at 10:50 am

    Right you are, Sanch. It’s not old-fashioned, it’s just good manners. It’s a nightmare for organizers. I’ve marked ‘maybe’ on a couple of invites, but made sure I went and changed it to a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ well in advance.

    Of late, I’ve found people doing this about meeting in person too!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…99 Things I Am Grateful For #FridayReflections #everydaygratitudeMy Profile

  • Tory
    18 April 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Facebook must agree with you because I think they’ve removed this as an option and replaced it with Interested which just means you get updates about the event. Honestly to me a Maybe RSVP is a I Don’t Want to Offend You But I’m Probably Not Going to Show Up, which I agree is completely rude.
    Tory recently posted…My Biggest Roadblock is MyselfMy Profile

  • Nabanita
    18 April 2016 at 3:01 pm

    I agree… Maybe just shouldn’t be an option.. Infact, if I could go a little more further and say that invites need to be personal too and not just a broadcast on social media unless it is perhaps a fair…and in that line, the answer needs to be as a yes or no..

  • Rachna
    18 April 2016 at 3:06 pm

    I agree with you. It should be yes or no. Of course, sometimes you do need to change your choice later. Either way one must inform the host in advance.
    Rachna recently posted…5 Crazy Behaviours of Indian Airline PassengersMy Profile

  • Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection
    18 April 2016 at 4:24 pm

    Yes this is so right. I hate a maybe too. If you are hosting, it makes you feel a little unloved (or unliked) The people who answer maybe never organise anything and probably don’t understand just how much work goes into organising things.
    Natalie @ Our Parallel Connection recently posted…5 ways to stop screaming at your kidsMy Profile

  • Alicia
    18 April 2016 at 10:32 pm

    Maybe is a silly option, especially when planning for an event comes into it. I don’t see anything wrong with changing a yes to a no though. It’s only fair on the person doing the organising. Giving a definite answer before the date specified is so important. I had someone tell me the day before my wedding that they were bringing a partner, a seat rearranging nightmare (that I stuffed up anyway!).
    Alicia recently posted…North African veggie casseroleMy Profile

  • Raychael Case
    18 April 2016 at 11:28 pm

    I love the maybe feature. It means you are interested in the person and/or the event but you are 99% sure you can’t make it but you still want to know the updates and support the event/person.

  • Parul
    19 April 2016 at 2:28 am

    Ha ha! Maybe could mean that I will try my best to come. 😉 I have never used that – either it’s a YES or I ignore. Somehow FB invites are too impersonal to me. I like being called personally 🙂
    Parul recently posted…O for Overweight and Ashamed? #AtoZChallengeMy Profile

  • Deborah
    19 April 2016 at 12:08 pm

    I’ll often use the ‘maybe’ option if it’s to something public which I’m not sure about… where numbers aren’t needed or if it’s ages in advance and then will commit closer to the event for the RSVP date.

    I haven’t really been invited to anything formal via FB though – usually just event type stuff.
    Deborah recently posted…My biggest roadblockMy Profile

  • Vasantha Vivek
    19 April 2016 at 4:08 pm

    I agree with the option yes or no. May be is not quiet correct. saying yes or no make sense for the inviting person to make rough plans. May be will leave them fuzzy. This is my own opinion. Thanks for making us think in different perspective.
    Vasantha Vivek recently posted…Will Mindful Reading Help Kids To Concentrate? – Literacy Musing MondaysMy Profile

  • Ashleigh My Meow
    19 April 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Ohhhh good post. This annoys me. I also think Facebook makes it easier to invite randoms to things!
    Ashleigh My Meow recently posted…For Granny, on Big MagicMy Profile

  • Frances
    20 April 2016 at 4:10 am

    AMEN!!! I never thought about it like this but you are absolutely correct. In situations as such, if i’m thinking “maybe”, then I may not be passionate enough about the event in the first place. Lawd! I generally wait until I know for sure before responding.

    Thanks for putting this out there.

    Frances

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    21 April 2016 at 10:37 am

    I reckon “maybe” is a “no” in disguise …
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…The Power of a Daily Dose of CuteMy Profile

  • Sarah @sarahdipity
    25 April 2016 at 6:57 pm

    You know I’ve never thought about this but you’re so right…maybe is basically just saying “if nothing better comes up…” which is pretty rude.
    Sarah @sarahdipity recently posted…Mothers Day Gift Ideas (and a giveaway!)- Fast Five FridayMy Profile