Life lessons

Politically incompatible

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Social etiquette recommends not airing your religious or political views in public. On this blog though, I have rarely followed any form of social etiquette. Have you ever wondered what happens when you have different political views in a relationship?

I must confess something: Mr Imperfect and I disagree a LOT on our political views.

I am a moderate left-wing and in the last two elections, I voted Labor. I voted for Gillard quite happily the first time, and Rudd not-so-happily the second. The way I saw it, Rudd was the lesser of the two evils in that battle. Mr Imperfect on the other hand, comes from a long line of Liberals. Yes, I actually said that. The thing is, he didn’t keep it secret from me. I knew on our first date that he’d voted our current PM into power and I told him then that I judged him. While not a fan of our PM, Mr Imperfect is still a moderate right-wing conservative.

Which is where we disagree.

You can just imagine what it’s like with this government and its policies. Well, at home, we have debates about it too. While Mr Imperfect in no way emulates Abbott, the fact that he supports some of this government’s views frustrates me. I know the left is not perfect either — in fact, to be honest, I dislike them all but just hate Abbott and his views a whole lot more.

Early on in our relationship, there were times when I’d get emotional — almost as if an agreement with the Libs was an attack on me. To the point where I wouldn’t even listen to Mr Imperfect. And of course, when he was adamant to get his point across, we locked horns. We tried to not talk politics to help the relationship. That plan lasted a couple of hours. Because let’s face it, almost every view about current affairs can be brought back to politics.

I think for me, what was hard to understand was why in the world would someone be a Liberal supporter. Especially someone from our generation. Mr Imperfect understood my non-right views. But for me to get some of his conservative views, it was a lot harder. I still don’t get most of it and I think I try to convince him otherwise. But the funny thing is, he is not so conservative when it comes to same-sex marriage or the environment. And unlike the dude he voted for, he certainly doesn’t think women have to do the ironing {and does his own}!

I’ll be honest that there have been times I have worried whether our political incompatibility will affect our relationship. But then just today, I had somewhat of an epiphany. I guess I realised that as long as I don’t take his views as a personal attack, it doesn’t have to mean anything. We can have our disagreements and still be okay.

Now I just have to remember that.

I still won’t forgive him for voting for Abbott, though. And he knows it!

Are you in a relationship where your partner has the opposite political views?

How do you manage it? And do you have any tips for me?

***Linking with Jess pretty late this Tuesday for IBOT***

Image Source: Pixabay

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • CookieCrumbsInc.
    14 July 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Agreeing to disagree is really hard but worthwhile in a relationship. Me and beau disagree on religion. Far more volatile but after a point we agree to disagree, snuggle up and watch Castle reruns 😛
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  • CookieCrumbsInc.
    14 July 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Agreeing to disagree is really hard but worthwhile in a relationship. Me and beau disagree on religion. Far more volatile but after a point we agree to disagree, snuggle up and watch Castle reruns 😛
    CookieCrumbsInc. recently posted…UBC Day 14: PochemuchkaMy Profile

  • Mr Imperfect
    14 July 2015 at 9:45 pm

    I agree this is an entertaining point of view

  • Mr Imperfect
    14 July 2015 at 9:45 pm

    I agree this is an entertaining point of view

  • Fiona
    14 July 2015 at 9:52 pm

    Seriously, as my politics are a huge part of me, there’s no WAY I could deal with a lib party faithful, or even worse a Christian Democrat. As it is, I’ve swung my Labor boy to my leftie Greens voting :p

  • Fiona
    14 July 2015 at 9:52 pm

    Seriously, as my politics are a huge part of me, there’s no WAY I could deal with a lib party faithful, or even worse a Christian Democrat. As it is, I’ve swung my Labor boy to my leftie Greens voting :p

  • Soumya
    14 July 2015 at 10:50 pm

    My husband and I talk about everything under the sun. Except politics.

    But we disagree on a lot of other things, but someone we come to a common agreement soon. Thankfully 😀
    Soumya recently posted…A Free PeriodMy Profile

  • Soumya
    14 July 2015 at 10:50 pm

    My husband and I talk about everything under the sun. Except politics.

    But we disagree on a lot of other things, but someone we come to a common agreement soon. Thankfully 😀
    Soumya recently posted…A Free PeriodMy Profile

  • Deborah
    14 July 2015 at 10:54 pm

    No partner so no tips but that would be hard… I can understand people sticking with what they know, but suspect there comes a time when…. well, you know!
    Deborah recently posted…Book review: Go Set A Watchman by Harper LeeMy Profile

  • Deborah
    14 July 2015 at 10:54 pm

    No partner so no tips but that would be hard… I can understand people sticking with what they know, but suspect there comes a time when…. well, you know!
    Deborah recently posted…Book review: Go Set A Watchman by Harper LeeMy Profile

  • Rajlakshmi
    14 July 2015 at 11:57 pm

    I don’t discuss politics at all… neither does my husband, but we disagree on a lot of things. Some result in arguments, some I let them pass. But at the end, we both don’t try too hard to change each other’s opinions. I guess after 7 years we have just learnt to live with other’s point of view 🙂
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  • Rajlakshmi
    14 July 2015 at 11:57 pm

    I don’t discuss politics at all… neither does my husband, but we disagree on a lot of things. Some result in arguments, some I let them pass. But at the end, we both don’t try too hard to change each other’s opinions. I guess after 7 years we have just learnt to live with other’s point of view 🙂
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  • J.Gi Federizo
    15 July 2015 at 12:54 am

    I’m a pretty opinionated person, although I’ve mellowed down. But I don’t think we’ve ever really argued about politics. Disagree a teeny bit, maybe, but not argue. (or maybe he just lets me win, he he).

    But you are right in not letting it affect your relationship. Just remember “that as long as I don’t take his views as a personal attack, it doesn’t have to mean anything. We can have our disagreements and still be okay.” 😉
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…For that one more conversation…My Profile

  • J.Gi Federizo
    15 July 2015 at 12:54 am

    I’m a pretty opinionated person, although I’ve mellowed down. But I don’t think we’ve ever really argued about politics. Disagree a teeny bit, maybe, but not argue. (or maybe he just lets me win, he he).

    But you are right in not letting it affect your relationship. Just remember “that as long as I don’t take his views as a personal attack, it doesn’t have to mean anything. We can have our disagreements and still be okay.” 😉
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…For that one more conversation…My Profile

  • Srinidhi
    15 July 2015 at 1:33 am

    As you might already know, I have strong political opinions. And till date, I have not been able to agree with a lot of men that Ive been with. But I sense that often people want the same things like equality, freedom and justice and have different visions of how to get there. I reflect on the core and make my peace with the fact that we want the same things there. 🙂

  • Srinidhi
    15 July 2015 at 1:33 am

    As you might already know, I have strong political opinions. And till date, I have not been able to agree with a lot of men that Ive been with. But I sense that often people want the same things like equality, freedom and justice and have different visions of how to get there. I reflect on the core and make my peace with the fact that we want the same things there. 🙂

  • Shailaja
    15 July 2015 at 1:23 pm

    I think you just put the whole thing in the best nutshell ever and one of the greatest truths about relationships- It’s not a personal attack 🙂 Thing is most couples go through this, not necessarily politics, but say religion vs atheism, veg vs non veg, you get the drift. I think the beauty of a healthy relationship is when you can move past the differences and love one another for the person that he/she is. That is growth. That is compatibility. Loved the post!
    Shailaja recently posted…Consonance #Poetry #AmwritingMy Profile

  • Shailaja
    15 July 2015 at 1:23 pm

    I think you just put the whole thing in the best nutshell ever and one of the greatest truths about relationships- It’s not a personal attack 🙂 Thing is most couples go through this, not necessarily politics, but say religion vs atheism, veg vs non veg, you get the drift. I think the beauty of a healthy relationship is when you can move past the differences and love one another for the person that he/she is. That is growth. That is compatibility. Loved the post!
    Shailaja recently posted…Consonance #Poetry #AmwritingMy Profile

  • simple girl
    15 July 2015 at 5:17 pm

    You kind of gave me an epiphany moment now..
    You spoke the great truth – ‘not a personal attack’ …
    I was having trouble regarding the certain other topic but the truth is that the difference in view point is not a personal attack…
    simple girl recently posted…Dusting away the cobwebs …My Profile

  • simple girl
    15 July 2015 at 5:17 pm

    You kind of gave me an epiphany moment now..
    You spoke the great truth – ‘not a personal attack’ …
    I was having trouble regarding the certain other topic but the truth is that the difference in view point is not a personal attack…
    simple girl recently posted…Dusting away the cobwebs …My Profile

  • elly stornebrink
    15 July 2015 at 5:33 pm

    How your post can relate to many subjects, not only politics! I had an ex-boyfriend and we were incompatible religion-wise as he returned to Catholicism and I was a spiritual “New-Ager” or something of the like, i.e., basically into spirituality. I ended up leaving the relationship as it was important for me to be able to talk freely about my views with him and felt that I couldn’t and/or wouldn’t be accepted. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing. Perhaps I wasn’t as open-minded then and patient enough as you seem to be! 😉 <3
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  • elly stornebrink
    15 July 2015 at 5:33 pm

    How your post can relate to many subjects, not only politics! I had an ex-boyfriend and we were incompatible religion-wise as he returned to Catholicism and I was a spiritual “New-Ager” or something of the like, i.e., basically into spirituality. I ended up leaving the relationship as it was important for me to be able to talk freely about my views with him and felt that I couldn’t and/or wouldn’t be accepted. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing. Perhaps I wasn’t as open-minded then and patient enough as you seem to be! 😉 <3
    elly stornebrink recently posted…Wordy Wednesday: What’s Cooking?!My Profile

  • Parul
    18 July 2015 at 2:39 pm

    Between two, there will be disagreements and VT and I too differ on your opinions. Political or otherwise. What I have learnt over a period of time is that it’s okay and normal to think differently. What not’s right is imposing one’s belief on the other. Simply agree to disagree.
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  • Parul
    18 July 2015 at 2:39 pm

    Between two, there will be disagreements and VT and I too differ on your opinions. Political or otherwise. What I have learnt over a period of time is that it’s okay and normal to think differently. What not’s right is imposing one’s belief on the other. Simply agree to disagree.
    Parul recently posted…Do Maternity Trousers Protect Pride?My Profile

  • EssentiallyJess
    18 July 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Boatman and I have the same political views so I can’t weigh in on that. I would find vastly different religious views so much harder to move past myself, but thankfully I don’t have to worry about that. I think so long as you both are able to talk about things, and say what you need to say, and be heard with respect, you are in a good place.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…10 (ridiculous) Necessities for Creating Family Memories #IBOTMy Profile

  • EssentiallyJess
    18 July 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Boatman and I have the same political views so I can’t weigh in on that. I would find vastly different religious views so much harder to move past myself, but thankfully I don’t have to worry about that. I think so long as you both are able to talk about things, and say what you need to say, and be heard with respect, you are in a good place.
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…10 (ridiculous) Necessities for Creating Family Memories #IBOTMy Profile

  • Avada Kedavra
    24 July 2015 at 5:47 am

    Hubby and I don’t discuss politics at all. But even when we do, I think our views match. I think our views match in almost everything. I don’t remember disagreeing on anything, other than maybe some movies or music.

  • Avada Kedavra
    24 July 2015 at 5:47 am

    Hubby and I don’t discuss politics at all. But even when we do, I think our views match. I think our views match in almost everything. I don’t remember disagreeing on anything, other than maybe some movies or music.

  • Alysha Herrmann
    27 July 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Party politics being different, I don’t actually think is a big deal (just communicate respectfully) but if your *actual* politics are different, I would really struggle with that. Our politics and the ‘sides’ we chose are one of the deepest and most visible ways we live our values. I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who genuinely thought that we should be turning back boats…

    My love and I definitely interpret things differently and our positions are not identical, but they are deeply aligned.
    Alysha Herrmann recently posted…Always was. Always will be. #writeme30My Profile

  • Alysha Herrmann
    27 July 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Party politics being different, I don’t actually think is a big deal (just communicate respectfully) but if your *actual* politics are different, I would really struggle with that. Our politics and the ‘sides’ we chose are one of the deepest and most visible ways we live our values. I don’t think I could be in a relationship with someone who genuinely thought that we should be turning back boats…

    My love and I definitely interpret things differently and our positions are not identical, but they are deeply aligned.
    Alysha Herrmann recently posted…Always was. Always will be. #writeme30My Profile