All about the mind

On baggage and letting things go

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I’m going to make a bold statement and say this: if you are a human being, you have baggage. We carry baggage from our childhood — our early attachment, our parents, our families, our culture and religion, our school days and our friends. As we grow older, we fill a lot more baggage — through our relationships, our adolescent experiences, our young adulthood, our work.

At some point though, this baggage gets heavy. This shit gets real. And we have to offload it somehow. Usually, we start to offload this baggage onto those closest to us. Our families. Our partners. Our friends. Our kids. And potentially, add to their baggage.

Like everyone else, I have my own baggage. Most of the time, it stays locked up. At other times, especially when I’m at my most vulnerable, it gets triggered and starts to spill out. For instance, my baggage around being let down or abandoned can resurface when I’m at my most anxious. At other times, when I’m usually cruising, someone letting me down will not bother me as much.

Last weekend, I had a bit of a meltdown with the Partner who to his credit, had the utmost patience for me during that time. The thing is, for quite a while, even I didn’t know why I was having a meltdown. It was stuff hidden pretty deep down in my baggage that it took some time for me to find out why I was upset. But I did eventually. Only to realise it related to my grandmother {the evil one}, my parents and my Ex. Sigh.

It made me realise though that I seriously need to let go off some of this baggage. I sorted out a fair bit when I sought therapy in 2013-2014. But obviously, there was a lot of shit even I wasn’t completely aware of. I have to learn to let go off that. Because in the end, no matter what stuff I went through in the past — with exes and others — none of it is the present.

The present is where I am and I need to live in it. Letting the past affect the present or the potential future worries not based on any reality come in the way only affects the way I live right now. It is with that in mind, I have decided I am going to consciously start to let go of my baggage. To pretty much start culling it and dumping it into the metaphorical bin. To process it and challenge it just the way I did with my therapist.

Because it’s not worth it.

I’d rather make my present more worthwhile. And therefore, my life worth living.

How have you go rid of your baggage? Does it affect your present?

Do share!

photo credit: Samsonite, yes we have via photopin (license)

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • Rekha
    4 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Letting go of excess baggage from time to time is a must. If we allow it to get saturared, it most likely will result in a blast. Some really good points in there.
    Rekha recently posted…The SearchMy Profile

  • Rekha
    4 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Letting go of excess baggage from time to time is a must. If we allow it to get saturared, it most likely will result in a blast. Some really good points in there.
    Rekha recently posted…The SearchMy Profile

  • Rekha
    4 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    Letting go of excess baggage from time to time is a must. If we allow it to get saturared, it most likely will result in a blast. Some really good points in there.
    Rekha recently posted…The SearchMy Profile

  • nancy@thethinkinhat.com
    4 February 2015 at 10:09 pm

    You made me go back a few years when maybe I was into this mode of thinking. I did pen down my feelings then and titled it “Past your Past”. What you said is apt. Once we let that go off, we are way better and positive.
    http://thethinkinhat.com/2009/12/05/revisiting-past/
    nancy@thethinkinhat.com recently posted…My Resolutions as a Mother in 2015My Profile

  • nancy@thethinkinhat.com
    4 February 2015 at 10:09 pm

    You made me go back a few years when maybe I was into this mode of thinking. I did pen down my feelings then and titled it “Past your Past”. What you said is apt. Once we let that go off, we are way better and positive.
    http://thethinkinhat.com/2009/12/05/revisiting-past/
    nancy@thethinkinhat.com recently posted…My Resolutions as a Mother in 2015My Profile

  • nancy@thethinkinhat.com
    4 February 2015 at 10:09 pm

    You made me go back a few years when maybe I was into this mode of thinking. I did pen down my feelings then and titled it “Past your Past”. What you said is apt. Once we let that go off, we are way better and positive.
    http://thethinkinhat.com/2009/12/05/revisiting-past/
    nancy@thethinkinhat.com recently posted…My Resolutions as a Mother in 2015My Profile

  • Shailaja V
    4 February 2015 at 10:27 pm

    So glad you decided to let go of the baggage. That usually only causes more pain, carrying it around. Hope you have more happiness now that your load is lighter.
    Shailaja V recently posted…My Story as a Survivor of DepressionMy Profile

  • Shailaja V
    4 February 2015 at 10:27 pm

    So glad you decided to let go of the baggage. That usually only causes more pain, carrying it around. Hope you have more happiness now that your load is lighter.
    Shailaja V recently posted…My Story as a Survivor of DepressionMy Profile

  • Pinky Poinker
    4 February 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Boy, could I tell you a story about getting rid of baggage… but I won’t. I read a lot which helps me see things from a different perspective. By reading stuff I mean psychological stuff. You won’t believe this but reading Freud changed me in so many ways. Introspection I guess is my answer to your question.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…I Hear Illiterate People.My Profile

  • Pinky Poinker
    4 February 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Boy, could I tell you a story about getting rid of baggage… but I won’t. I read a lot which helps me see things from a different perspective. By reading stuff I mean psychological stuff. You won’t believe this but reading Freud changed me in so many ways. Introspection I guess is my answer to your question.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…I Hear Illiterate People.My Profile

  • Pinky Poinker
    4 February 2015 at 11:02 pm

    Boy, could I tell you a story about getting rid of baggage… but I won’t. I read a lot which helps me see things from a different perspective. By reading stuff I mean psychological stuff. You won’t believe this but reading Freud changed me in so many ways. Introspection I guess is my answer to your question.
    Pinky Poinker recently posted…I Hear Illiterate People.My Profile

  • Zita
    4 February 2015 at 11:24 pm

    oh yeah I got baggage! I read a quote once that said something about everyone having baggage the trick is finding someone willing to help you unpack yours!
    Am glad you have found that and are going to try let it go”…easier said than done sometimes…
    Zita recently posted…for my 10 favourite pics from VietnamMy Profile

  • Zita
    4 February 2015 at 11:24 pm

    oh yeah I got baggage! I read a quote once that said something about everyone having baggage the trick is finding someone willing to help you unpack yours!
    Am glad you have found that and are going to try let it go”…easier said than done sometimes…
    Zita recently posted…for my 10 favourite pics from VietnamMy Profile

  • Zita
    4 February 2015 at 11:24 pm

    oh yeah I got baggage! I read a quote once that said something about everyone having baggage the trick is finding someone willing to help you unpack yours!
    Am glad you have found that and are going to try let it go”…easier said than done sometimes…
    Zita recently posted…for my 10 favourite pics from VietnamMy Profile

  • Sulekha
    5 February 2015 at 1:44 am

    Carrying baggage around slows one down and dampens the spirit. De-cluttering is important, at regular intervals.

  • Sulekha
    5 February 2015 at 1:44 am

    Carrying baggage around slows one down and dampens the spirit. De-cluttering is important, at regular intervals.

  • Sulekha
    5 February 2015 at 1:44 am

    Carrying baggage around slows one down and dampens the spirit. De-cluttering is important, at regular intervals.

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    5 February 2015 at 10:12 am

    LOL I was raised by a bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and latest diagnosis – sociopathic – mother, so yes, I guess you could say I’ve had to shed a bit of baggage in my time. Every now and then I find a little bit more that just has to go …
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…What to Wear: Caravanning AustraliaMy Profile

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    5 February 2015 at 10:12 am

    LOL I was raised by a bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and latest diagnosis – sociopathic – mother, so yes, I guess you could say I’ve had to shed a bit of baggage in my time. Every now and then I find a little bit more that just has to go …
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…What to Wear: Caravanning AustraliaMy Profile

  • Janet aka Middle Aged Mama
    5 February 2015 at 10:12 am

    LOL I was raised by a bipolar, borderline personality disorder, and latest diagnosis – sociopathic – mother, so yes, I guess you could say I’ve had to shed a bit of baggage in my time. Every now and then I find a little bit more that just has to go …
    Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…What to Wear: Caravanning AustraliaMy Profile

  • jess
    5 February 2015 at 1:10 pm

    So much of the time I don’t realise my baggage until you find myself over-reacting to something that other people don’t have the same reaction to!
    jess recently posted…On trying to appreciate summer.My Profile

  • jess
    5 February 2015 at 1:10 pm

    So much of the time I don’t realise my baggage until you find myself over-reacting to something that other people don’t have the same reaction to!
    jess recently posted…On trying to appreciate summer.My Profile

  • Cathy Graham
    5 February 2015 at 10:20 pm

    I can totally relate to the baggage we carry around, deeply rooted from childhood even. I have baggage about not being good enough or worthy enough and feel I can never measure up to expectations. Still working on those issues. Good for you for kicking that baggage into the metaphorical bin so you can be happier and more in the present. You’ve inspired me to try and do the same.
    Cathy Graham recently posted…Just Call Me The Crazy Bird LadyMy Profile

  • Cathy Graham
    5 February 2015 at 10:20 pm

    I can totally relate to the baggage we carry around, deeply rooted from childhood even. I have baggage about not being good enough or worthy enough and feel I can never measure up to expectations. Still working on those issues. Good for you for kicking that baggage into the metaphorical bin so you can be happier and more in the present. You’ve inspired me to try and do the same.
    Cathy Graham recently posted…Just Call Me The Crazy Bird LadyMy Profile

  • Cathy Graham
    5 February 2015 at 10:20 pm

    I can totally relate to the baggage we carry around, deeply rooted from childhood even. I have baggage about not being good enough or worthy enough and feel I can never measure up to expectations. Still working on those issues. Good for you for kicking that baggage into the metaphorical bin so you can be happier and more in the present. You’ve inspired me to try and do the same.
    Cathy Graham recently posted…Just Call Me The Crazy Bird LadyMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    5 February 2015 at 11:38 pm

    Isn’t it funny that baggage will come up with the ones who really love us? I’m glad I have my husband in my corner to help me deal with that. And I’m glad your partner allowed you to deal with things too.
    These days I’ve learned to be grateful for all the hurts of the past and it helps me move on better!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Grateful LifeMy Profile

  • Corinne Rodrigues
    5 February 2015 at 11:38 pm

    Isn’t it funny that baggage will come up with the ones who really love us? I’m glad I have my husband in my corner to help me deal with that. And I’m glad your partner allowed you to deal with things too.
    These days I’ve learned to be grateful for all the hurts of the past and it helps me move on better!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…The Grateful LifeMy Profile

  • Cam @ Gen-Y Mum
    8 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    So true we all have baggage that stems from our childhood. I’m very aware of this so I always wonder what actions could I be doing that could affect my children’s “baggage”.

    For me it definitely a mental thing. I try not to get too worked up over things so it doesn’t pile on. I also try and see the positives in a situation and I practice the art of being grateful and content.

    Great post

  • Cam @ Gen-Y Mum
    8 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    So true we all have baggage that stems from our childhood. I’m very aware of this so I always wonder what actions could I be doing that could affect my children’s “baggage”.

    For me it definitely a mental thing. I try not to get too worked up over things so it doesn’t pile on. I also try and see the positives in a situation and I practice the art of being grateful and content.

    Great post

  • Cam @ Gen-Y Mum
    8 February 2015 at 10:04 pm

    So true we all have baggage that stems from our childhood. I’m very aware of this so I always wonder what actions could I be doing that could affect my children’s “baggage”.

    For me it definitely a mental thing. I try not to get too worked up over things so it doesn’t pile on. I also try and see the positives in a situation and I practice the art of being grateful and content.

    Great post