I have been struggling with work ever since I returned from my holidays. Around the end of 2014, I was getting cranky and irritable, more so at work. I blamed the long drive, lack of sleep, being too social, the difficult clients, the need for a break, and even workplace politics. I thought maybe, after my holidays, I’d be more relaxed.
And I was.
Until my first day back at work and I didn’t want to be there.
Yes I was relaxed. Yes I had a wonderful holiday. Yes I caught up on sleep. But work just seemed to bring me down.
There is still a lot of politics at work. Stuff I can’t talk about in detail obviously. It’s still quite negative at work. There are some people who are passive aggressive. There are others who are too entitled. While the clients continue to be difficult, they would be easier to manage if the work environment was a lot more upbeat. Finally, the thing that is almost pushing me over the edge is that one of my closest mates at work will be resigning and leaving in March. And without him — without his openness and straightforwardness — I will be left with no one to experience even that little bit of positivity in this place. Don’t get me wrong. I do have a couple of other colleagues I get along well with. But they are also bogged down by the negativity that it becomes harder to get out of it.
I know now for sure, my lack of motivation and drop of energy at work has nothing to do with poor sleep or tiredness. I have been getting proper sleep, am well rested from my holidays and have a lot of energy to wake up at 5 every morning to hit the gym and energy post-work. It’s only when I’m at work that I’m in a funk. With the itch to want to leave pretty much as soon as I get there.
I hate that. Because I want to be there for my clients. I want to help them. And I don’t want any of my negativity to seep through in my sessions.
I’m kinda at a crossroads at the moment. I know I thought I’d ride it out this year but the year seems way too long! I know I should be grateful to have a full time job that is permanent. And I am. Yet, I am not happy here. I know I could look for more jobs in the field but there are not many going in the areas I want at the moment. I know I should possibly just suck it up and get on with it.
I know I have to do something about my mindset — about work and about the time to travel to it. Ironically, even though I’m a psychologist and should know the answers to these, I feel completely at loss.
I just want a place where I’ll be happier doing what I do.
How do you deal with workplace politics and so much negativity?
Do share your tips with me!
Until next time,