Life

Work woes

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I have been struggling with work ever since I returned from my holidays. Around the end of 2014, I was getting cranky and irritable, more so at work. I blamed the long drive, lack of sleep, being too social, the difficult clients, the need for a break, and even workplace politics. I thought maybe, after my holidays, I’d be more relaxed.

And I was.

Until my first day back at work and I didn’t want to be there.

Yes I was relaxed. Yes I had a wonderful holiday. Yes I caught up on sleep. But work just seemed to bring me down.

There is still a lot of politics at work. Stuff I can’t talk about in detail obviously. It’s still quite negative at work. There are some people who are passive aggressive. There are others who are too entitled. While the clients continue to be difficult, they would be easier to manage if the work environment was a lot more upbeat. Finally, the thing that is almost pushing me over the edge is that one of my closest mates at work will be resigning and leaving in March. And without him — without his openness and straightforwardness — I will be left with no one to experience even that little bit of positivity in this place. Don’t get me wrong. I do have a couple of other colleagues I get along well with. But they are also bogged down by the negativity that it becomes harder to get out of it.

I know now for sure, my lack of motivation and drop of energy at work has nothing to do with poor sleep or tiredness. I have been getting proper sleep, am well rested from my holidays and have a lot of energy to wake up at 5 every morning to hit the gym and energy post-work. It’s only when I’m at work that I’m in a funk. With the itch to want to leave pretty much as soon as I get there.

I hate that. Because I want to be there for my clients. I want to help them. And I don’t want any of my negativity to seep through in my sessions.

I’m kinda at a crossroads at the moment. I know I thought I’d ride it out this year but the year seems way too long! I know I should be grateful to have a full time job that is permanent. And I am. Yet, I am not happy here. I know I could look for more jobs in the field but there are not many going in the areas I want at the moment. I know I should possibly just suck it up and get on with it.

I know I have to do something about my mindset — about work and about the time to travel to it. Ironically, even though I’m a psychologist and should know the answers to these, I feel completely at loss.

I just want a place where I’ll be happier doing what I do.

How do you deal with workplace politics and so much negativity?

Do share your tips with me!

photo credit: Victoria Nevland via photopin cc

Until next time,

Cheers!!!

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  • jess
    29 January 2015 at 1:24 pm

    That’s a really hard spot you’re in, I sympathise! I know the feeling, as a fellow psych, people think we should be great at work/life balance and having a good mindset. But often we can be the worst at this! All I can say is to follow what your mind and body are trying to tell you 🙂
    jess recently posted…Oh beautiful abandon…My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      5 February 2015 at 2:40 pm

      Thanks Jess. Nice to ‘meet’ a fellow psych! 🙂 I made an effort to have that work-life balance last year and for the most part, it has been going well. Sadly, with work place politics, the ‘work’ part becomes a lot tougher! As I used to say to people: the clients I could handle, some of the staff though are a different story!

  • jess
    29 January 2015 at 1:24 pm

    That’s a really hard spot you’re in, I sympathise! I know the feeling, as a fellow psych, people think we should be great at work/life balance and having a good mindset. But often we can be the worst at this! All I can say is to follow what your mind and body are trying to tell you 🙂
    jess recently posted…Oh beautiful abandon…My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      5 February 2015 at 2:40 pm

      Thanks Jess. Nice to ‘meet’ a fellow psych! 🙂 I made an effort to have that work-life balance last year and for the most part, it has been going well. Sadly, with work place politics, the ‘work’ part becomes a lot tougher! As I used to say to people: the clients I could handle, some of the staff though are a different story!

  • Chicky
    29 January 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Tough call, Sanch! Too much negativity at work can really stress us out, even if we don’t get into direct confrontations with anyone. Hope situations ease out there as soon as possible… all the best!
    Chicky recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Our Facebook Friends!My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      5 February 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Exactly…it’s not direct confrontation and just negativity all around. But I’m working on it now.

  • Chicky
    29 January 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Tough call, Sanch! Too much negativity at work can really stress us out, even if we don’t get into direct confrontations with anyone. Hope situations ease out there as soon as possible… all the best!
    Chicky recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Our Facebook Friends!My Profile

    • Sanch @ Living my Imperfect Life
      5 February 2015 at 3:11 pm

      Exactly…it’s not direct confrontation and just negativity all around. But I’m working on it now.

  • Varsha
    29 January 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Oh I know the feeling 🙁 I am going through the same thing right now. There is nothing much we can do to change the office environment, but we can help ourselves to cope with it. When it becomes too much to bear, I just get up from my place and go out for a stroll or chat up with friends. Also I try to look at the big picture and tell myself why this work is important for me and also remind myself that I have coped with it in the past and I will continue doing it now no matter what.

    May be this experience is helping you prepare for a bigger and brighter future. For now my mantra is “This too shall pass”. Hope this helped you at least in a little way 🙂
    Varsha recently posted…What is it that I really want to say?My Profile

  • Varsha
    29 January 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Oh I know the feeling 🙁 I am going through the same thing right now. There is nothing much we can do to change the office environment, but we can help ourselves to cope with it. When it becomes too much to bear, I just get up from my place and go out for a stroll or chat up with friends. Also I try to look at the big picture and tell myself why this work is important for me and also remind myself that I have coped with it in the past and I will continue doing it now no matter what.

    May be this experience is helping you prepare for a bigger and brighter future. For now my mantra is “This too shall pass”. Hope this helped you at least in a little way 🙂
    Varsha recently posted…What is it that I really want to say?My Profile

  • simple girl
    29 January 2015 at 5:21 pm

    I went through that phase, but things are better now. Touch wood.
    I took professional help and got a bit confident about myself.
    I shared that how negative the surrounding felt with a colleague and found that she to felt the same.
    This kind of helped dealing with it.

    I then analyzed and found that it came from few specific persons.
    The good thing that happened was,
    that the team structure changed and I was put in a different team, but I had to interact with them anyway.
    Of people from whom I could feel negativity, I tried to understand the reason behind it.
    I could understand few people’s anger and I could not in case of some other persons.
    For those people, whom I understood the reasons behind their anger,
    I changed my approach about how I viewed them.
    I tried to understand why they behaved like this by putting myself in their shoes and kind of got their perspective even though
    I did not agree with it.
    I became empathetic and then I gradually felt that their anger, passive aggressive behaviour, negativity lessened or may be
    I wasn’t as affected as before.
    I also helped them in some cases. So things got better.
    But the underlying thing is still there and raises its head sometimes.

    This is how I dealt with it. Also fact that workload lessened and interaction with other people reduced which helped me to go about and do my own thing.
    But now work load being back, I do not know how to go about or what challenges I will face. Lets see…
    simple girl recently posted…RandomMy Profile

  • simple girl
    29 January 2015 at 5:21 pm

    I went through that phase, but things are better now. Touch wood.
    I took professional help and got a bit confident about myself.
    I shared that how negative the surrounding felt with a colleague and found that she to felt the same.
    This kind of helped dealing with it.

    I then analyzed and found that it came from few specific persons.
    The good thing that happened was,
    that the team structure changed and I was put in a different team, but I had to interact with them anyway.
    Of people from whom I could feel negativity, I tried to understand the reason behind it.
    I could understand few people’s anger and I could not in case of some other persons.
    For those people, whom I understood the reasons behind their anger,
    I changed my approach about how I viewed them.
    I tried to understand why they behaved like this by putting myself in their shoes and kind of got their perspective even though
    I did not agree with it.
    I became empathetic and then I gradually felt that their anger, passive aggressive behaviour, negativity lessened or may be
    I wasn’t as affected as before.
    I also helped them in some cases. So things got better.
    But the underlying thing is still there and raises its head sometimes.

    This is how I dealt with it. Also fact that workload lessened and interaction with other people reduced which helped me to go about and do my own thing.
    But now work load being back, I do not know how to go about or what challenges I will face. Lets see…
    simple girl recently posted…RandomMy Profile

  • Amrita
    29 January 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Hi Sanch,
    good to know that you are relaxed and energised after the holidays! Not so good about the work situation. I’m grappling with a very similar issue right now; work not up to my expectations, workplace politics, heaps of negativity all around. It also doesn’t help that I work in a 5 person company and there’s really nowhere to turn! Like Simple Girl I too got professional help and even though it is an ongoing process for me I’ve found some things that the psychoanalyst said that help me:

    – Writing down why I’m here (work, life etc.)
    – Writing down where I want to go (in my case I want to change jobs)
    – He listed out the options for me and said that I could pursue all of them. In a day he told me to list out the things that I will do/did towards making the change
    – If I decided to stick it out then he asked me to list out why and whenever I felt down he asked me to refer to the list and see if something has changed.

    Of course you know all this 🙂 but sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. All the best and hope things start looking up!
    Amrita recently posted…Taking stockMy Profile

  • Amrita
    29 January 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Hi Sanch,
    good to know that you are relaxed and energised after the holidays! Not so good about the work situation. I’m grappling with a very similar issue right now; work not up to my expectations, workplace politics, heaps of negativity all around. It also doesn’t help that I work in a 5 person company and there’s really nowhere to turn! Like Simple Girl I too got professional help and even though it is an ongoing process for me I’ve found some things that the psychoanalyst said that help me:

    – Writing down why I’m here (work, life etc.)
    – Writing down where I want to go (in my case I want to change jobs)
    – He listed out the options for me and said that I could pursue all of them. In a day he told me to list out the things that I will do/did towards making the change
    – If I decided to stick it out then he asked me to list out why and whenever I felt down he asked me to refer to the list and see if something has changed.

    Of course you know all this 🙂 but sometimes it helps to hear it from the outside. All the best and hope things start looking up!
    Amrita recently posted…Taking stockMy Profile

  • nabanita
    29 January 2015 at 8:43 pm

    I think you should look for some other options in terms of job…I think you will feel much better then..I deal with it by blogging and reading in between tasks 🙂
    nabanita recently posted…Dear Pimple, it’s Over!My Profile

  • nabanita
    29 January 2015 at 8:43 pm

    I think you should look for some other options in terms of job…I think you will feel much better then..I deal with it by blogging and reading in between tasks 🙂
    nabanita recently posted…Dear Pimple, it’s Over!My Profile

  • Vinodini Iyer
    29 January 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Hey, this sounds so much like me, rather so much like my situation. I guess every workplace has its share of politics and good moments.
    For me it works to appear happy go lucky…trying to appear as if the politics did not exist or affect me. It sure turns off those negative characters big-time!
    Vinodini Iyer recently posted…The Shared HeroMy Profile

  • Vinodini Iyer
    29 January 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Hey, this sounds so much like me, rather so much like my situation. I guess every workplace has its share of politics and good moments.
    For me it works to appear happy go lucky…trying to appear as if the politics did not exist or affect me. It sure turns off those negative characters big-time!
    Vinodini Iyer recently posted…The Shared HeroMy Profile

  • Bikram
    30 January 2015 at 1:20 am

    I hate office politics SO i dont interfere in it at all or participate. I walk away when people gossip not my cup of tea..

    but I am happy where i work, i get along with people and because i have been working for the same company for over a decade now , I get to do what i want to when i want to , I am lucky in that way

    but recetnly we are seeing a lot of new faces so things are becoming hot and turbulent because the higher ups have changed and they are all bringing their own people ..

    so lets see

    Bikram’s
    Bikram recently posted…Day 29 :- Thursday Challenge(58) – LIGHTSMy Profile

  • Bikram
    30 January 2015 at 1:20 am

    I hate office politics SO i dont interfere in it at all or participate. I walk away when people gossip not my cup of tea..

    but I am happy where i work, i get along with people and because i have been working for the same company for over a decade now , I get to do what i want to when i want to , I am lucky in that way

    but recetnly we are seeing a lot of new faces so things are becoming hot and turbulent because the higher ups have changed and they are all bringing their own people ..

    so lets see

    Bikram’s
    Bikram recently posted…Day 29 :- Thursday Challenge(58) – LIGHTSMy Profile

  • Laurel Regan
    30 January 2015 at 9:12 am

    I don’t have much in the way of advice, but I do hear what you’re saying and I’m sorry things are rough at work. Here’s hoping things improve soon so that you can enjoy going to the office every day.
    Laurel Regan recently posted…12 reasons why YOU should sign up for NaBloPoMo in February 2015!My Profile

  • Laurel Regan
    30 January 2015 at 9:12 am

    I don’t have much in the way of advice, but I do hear what you’re saying and I’m sorry things are rough at work. Here’s hoping things improve soon so that you can enjoy going to the office every day.
    Laurel Regan recently posted…12 reasons why YOU should sign up for NaBloPoMo in February 2015!My Profile

  • J.Gi Federizo
    30 January 2015 at 7:39 pm

    I experienced real office politics in just one of the five jobs I’ve had in my life. Surprisingly, it was at the job where I least expected it. I tried to deal with it first but it eventually did not work out. I was really devastated. But I had to move on, of course, and thankfully, I am now where I am happy 🙂

    I do think you know how to deal with this. Your heart is just fighting you and can’t accept what is happening at the moment.
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…What’s in a Name?My Profile

  • J.Gi Federizo
    30 January 2015 at 7:39 pm

    I experienced real office politics in just one of the five jobs I’ve had in my life. Surprisingly, it was at the job where I least expected it. I tried to deal with it first but it eventually did not work out. I was really devastated. But I had to move on, of course, and thankfully, I am now where I am happy 🙂

    I do think you know how to deal with this. Your heart is just fighting you and can’t accept what is happening at the moment.
    J.Gi Federizo recently posted…What’s in a Name?My Profile

  • Zita
    1 February 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Oh I know how you feel and wish I had some magical words of wisdom. I knew I had to get out of the profession and I am not committing to anything long term as yet because I know I need to get out and clear my head of all the fuzz…I hope you are able to work your way out of the funk and take some action to make things better for you, because at the end of the day you are the only thing that matters…best of luck

  • Zita
    1 February 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Oh I know how you feel and wish I had some magical words of wisdom. I knew I had to get out of the profession and I am not committing to anything long term as yet because I know I need to get out and clear my head of all the fuzz…I hope you are able to work your way out of the funk and take some action to make things better for you, because at the end of the day you are the only thing that matters…best of luck