There is so much I want to say but the words remain unspoken. With every moment that passes by, my tongue gets frozen. I soak up the courage to tell you the words but all that ensues is chatter. The fear of rejection is currently stronger than any courage I can possibly summon. The words that come out are of daily chit chat. Of moments we have shared and enjoyed. Of times at work and future dreams, they make our conversations light.
But the unspoken words — I hope you hear them. They are in my laugh. Or the light in my eyes. They are in my smile when together we spend time. They are in my actions and the messages I send. But unfortunately, even though I want to stop dropping subtle hints, I lack the courage to be direct. I need to try. Need to persist. There is nothing to lose I tell myself. Except a great friendship. And that is why, along with the fear of being rejected, the words continue to remain unspoken.
While to you I do not say the words, almost everyone close to me knows what I want to say. They want me to be direct. To say something. To make a move. It’s actually quite funny how I can say the words to others around but when it comes to the one person who needs to know, I remain tongue tied. What if you don’t feel the same? What if you then drift away? What if…?
All I can think of now is that the time apart might give me courage. That this time with myself will help me clear my head. That somewhere, some how I will find that elusive courage. To say it out loud. To be direct. To take that risk. And to dive right in.
I talk about living a life with no regrets.
And I know I will regret it if these words remain unspoken.
***Linking up with Write Tribe for the Wednesday Prompt***
photo credit: damn_unique via photopin cc
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Stephanie Bird
16 May 2014 at 1:12 amWhat a great post! I too struggle at times with finding just the right words and have blogged about it as well. I hope your away and alone time proves productive on your journey.
Stephanie Bird recently posted…Unplugging and Getting in the Flow
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:06 amIt’s weird how difficult it can be to say something! Especially when writing about it comes easily… 🙂 Thanks for the lovely comment…
Stephanie Bird
16 May 2014 at 1:12 amWhat a great post! I too struggle at times with finding just the right words and have blogged about it as well. I hope your away and alone time proves productive on your journey.
Stephanie Bird recently posted…Unplugging and Getting in the Flow
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:06 amIt’s weird how difficult it can be to say something! Especially when writing about it comes easily… 🙂 Thanks for the lovely comment…
Archana
16 May 2014 at 2:27 amyeah.. some choices are very hard… hope you come out of the situation without any regrets…in either case.. 🙂
Archana recently posted…Inspiring yourself
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:07 amThanks Archana…decisions, decisions!!
Archana
16 May 2014 at 2:27 amyeah.. some choices are very hard… hope you come out of the situation without any regrets…in either case.. 🙂
Archana recently posted…Inspiring yourself
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:07 amThanks Archana…decisions, decisions!!
Viji Venu
16 May 2014 at 3:12 amThat is quite a wonderful post. Summing up the courage to let go the unspoken is quite a deal. It is sealed and kept hidden in most of the cases. I hope you gather the courage and speak up some day. The feelings definitely deserve light and love!… 🙂
Viji Venu recently posted…The Transition
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:08 amThanks Viji….that’s a lovely comment! I hope to have the courage too… 🙂
Viji Venu
16 May 2014 at 3:12 amThat is quite a wonderful post. Summing up the courage to let go the unspoken is quite a deal. It is sealed and kept hidden in most of the cases. I hope you gather the courage and speak up some day. The feelings definitely deserve light and love!… 🙂
Viji Venu recently posted…The Transition
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:08 amThanks Viji….that’s a lovely comment! I hope to have the courage too… 🙂
sahiti
16 May 2014 at 6:11 amStraight from the heart! lovely post..
sahiti recently posted…A RAY OF HOPE
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:13 amWelcome here Sahiti and thank you! 🙂
sahiti
16 May 2014 at 6:11 amStraight from the heart! lovely post..
sahiti recently posted…A RAY OF HOPE
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 6:13 amWelcome here Sahiti and thank you! 🙂
Vinodini Iyer
16 May 2014 at 12:25 pmThis predicament seems familiar…the best of us get tongue tied in situations where we need to speak up.
Interesting read 🙂
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 11:43 pmIt’s funny that the words flow when we write though, isn’t it? 🙂 Or even in our heads…
Vinodini Iyer
16 May 2014 at 12:25 pmThis predicament seems familiar…the best of us get tongue tied in situations where we need to speak up.
Interesting read 🙂
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 11:43 pmIt’s funny that the words flow when we write though, isn’t it? 🙂 Or even in our heads…
Rajlakshmi
16 May 2014 at 2:20 pmI love how your post is so honest 🙂 seems you dipped the quill in your heart and wrote it 🙂
Rajlakshmi recently posted…The Vet Diaries – I
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 11:43 pmThanks Raj…beauty of free write, I suppose. Comes straight from the heart… 🙂
Rajlakshmi
16 May 2014 at 2:20 pmI love how your post is so honest 🙂 seems you dipped the quill in your heart and wrote it 🙂
Rajlakshmi recently posted…The Vet Diaries – I
Psych Babbler
16 May 2014 at 11:43 pmThanks Raj…beauty of free write, I suppose. Comes straight from the heart… 🙂
Beloo Mehra
16 May 2014 at 4:37 pmThis is fabulous. A straight-from-the-heart kind of write-up. Very well done. To muster the courage to speak up those yet-unspoken feelings/thoughts isn’t easy many times. That’s where writing then down can help, I feel 🙂
Beloo Mehra recently posted…The Remains of the Moment
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:02 amThanks Beloo… It’s so not easy and even though I keep telling myself to do it, I still have a long way to go! 🙂
Beloo Mehra
16 May 2014 at 4:37 pmThis is fabulous. A straight-from-the-heart kind of write-up. Very well done. To muster the courage to speak up those yet-unspoken feelings/thoughts isn’t easy many times. That’s where writing then down can help, I feel 🙂
Beloo Mehra recently posted…The Remains of the Moment
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:02 amThanks Beloo… It’s so not easy and even though I keep telling myself to do it, I still have a long way to go! 🙂
Raindrop
16 May 2014 at 6:42 pmLovely post, PB!
I hope you summon the courage to say what needs to be said. All the best 🙂
Raindrop recently posted…The cold war 🙂
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:03 amThanks Raindrop! Long time no see…I have to visit your blog. Been slack in the past month and a bit with the challenge really overwhelming me!
Raindrop
16 May 2014 at 6:42 pmLovely post, PB!
I hope you summon the courage to say what needs to be said. All the best 🙂
Raindrop recently posted…The cold war 🙂
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:03 amThanks Raindrop! Long time no see…I have to visit your blog. Been slack in the past month and a bit with the challenge really overwhelming me!
Usha Menon
16 May 2014 at 9:02 pmAn awesome post. Every body faces this sort of dilemma in life.
Usha Menon recently posted…The sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts..
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:03 amThanks Usha…it helps knowing others go through similar feelings…
Usha Menon
16 May 2014 at 9:02 pmAn awesome post. Every body faces this sort of dilemma in life.
Usha Menon recently posted…The sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts..
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:03 amThanks Usha…it helps knowing others go through similar feelings…
Bikram
16 May 2014 at 11:33 pmyes and you dont want to live with that regret .. of WHAT IF .. so go for it and say it .. whats the worst that can happen.. at least one will know for sure if it was to be or not to be ..
Bikram
Bikram recently posted…Thursday Challenge (48) : ABANDONED – Real Story @Dornier DO 17
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:04 amTrue Bikram…I’d rather know either way than live with not knowing. Sorry for not visiting your blog…it’s good to see you back! 🙂 Will hop over to yours shortly.
Bikram
16 May 2014 at 11:33 pmyes and you dont want to live with that regret .. of WHAT IF .. so go for it and say it .. whats the worst that can happen.. at least one will know for sure if it was to be or not to be ..
Bikram
Bikram recently posted…Thursday Challenge (48) : ABANDONED – Real Story @Dornier DO 17
Psych Babbler
17 May 2014 at 12:04 amTrue Bikram…I’d rather know either way than live with not knowing. Sorry for not visiting your blog…it’s good to see you back! 🙂 Will hop over to yours shortly.
nabanita
17 May 2014 at 6:00 pmThis is so familiar…I feel like you have written about me..But you know i have spoken the unspoken and I’m happy I did 🙂 …You are becoming one of my favourite bloggers my dear 🙂 Love reading you
nabanita recently posted…My Own Famous Five…
nabanita
17 May 2014 at 6:00 pmThis is so familiar…I feel like you have written about me..But you know i have spoken the unspoken and I’m happy I did 🙂 …You are becoming one of my favourite bloggers my dear 🙂 Love reading you
nabanita recently posted…My Own Famous Five…
vishalbheeroo
22 May 2014 at 8:32 pmThis is exactly how I am and lost out on relations coz I fear of being rejected. I still get goose bumps before asking someone out and get o conscious in front of a crowd..I lack in communication skills. I can so much relate with your post.
vishalbheeroo recently posted…Free Write on Wednesday
vishalbheeroo
22 May 2014 at 8:32 pmThis is exactly how I am and lost out on relations coz I fear of being rejected. I still get goose bumps before asking someone out and get o conscious in front of a crowd..I lack in communication skills. I can so much relate with your post.
vishalbheeroo recently posted…Free Write on Wednesday