When I was younger, I remember wanting to go back in time to change a number of things. Change my early childhood experiences. Change the way I treated my first best friend. Change how needy I seemed at some stage. Change the devastating public speaking experience that shredded my confidence to bits. Yeah, I had a fair few regrets.
As I matured though, I began to realise that all that I regretted had in fact made me, me. If it weren’t for those experiences — good or bad — I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
If I reflect over my last few years, I have had a major failed relationship, some other potentials gone wrong, tried and tested private practice, quit a job after trying it for 7 months, met new people and lost touch with others, crashed a car, travelled, not travelled and well, lived a varied life.
I could mope over the time and effort spent in the long-term relationship. But instead, I choose to take lessons from it. I know what I don’t want in a partner now. I know what I am not willing to put up with.
I could regret the time, effort and money spent on trying out private practice. But instead, I now know that I prefer to work with a team where I can bounce ideas or debrief after a difficult client. I know now that private practice isn’t for me.
I could regret putting myself out there and dating guys after the relationship break up. But I know it has only made me stronger and well, more confident in meeting newer people.
I could regret not having travelled much at a younger age. But instead, I know now that when I wander, I will be doing so with my whole heart and looking forward to intriguing and exciting adventures.
All our experiences shape us. The good ones tend to stick because we can look back on them fondly. But the not-so-good-ones are equally important. They make us resilient. They make us confident. They make us stronger. They help us learn. They teach us lessons.
They tell us we can survive.
And that we are living.
Because after all, life is short. It’s better to live it wholly than to exist with regrets.
Are there things about your life you regret? Or do you believe in regretting nothing?
Until next time,