Life lessons

Lessons for a younger me

I am really proud and excited to be hosting the Writer’s Post Blog Hop No. 6 this fortnight. For this fortnight, I’ve chosen the following topic:

If you could teach your younger self one thing, what would it be?

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photo credit: William Arthur Fine Stationery via photopin cc

30 years on planet earth have taught me a few things. Like 7 hours of sleep is required to function well. Or mixing different alcoholic drinks is likely to cause a hangover the next day. Or that every family is dysfunctional in its own whacky way. 30 years on this planet has taught me things — good and bad. What to do and what not to do.

Some lessons I learnt as a child. Like never eavesdrop standing right behind the door or your fingers will get jammed. Some others I have had to wait for years to learn. Years before that light bulb went off in my brain. And made me wish that my younger self had known it. If I could teach my younger self just one thing though, it would be this: Avoidance does not solve problems.

My younger self loved to avoid.

Scared of public speaking? Just avoid it! Stressed about an upcoming assignment? Just sleep. And therefore avoid it. Annoyed with your parents? Don’t talk to them about it — stew over it and it will sort itself eventually. Stressed about exams? Sleep. Worried about meeting new people at that party you got invited to? Make an excuse and avoid it. Too many worries about the future in your head? Watch TV, go online or read a book and avoid thinking of the worries. Feeling sad? Keep yourself busy to avoid the uncomfortable feelings. Feeling anxious? Seek reassurance at once to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

As human beings, we all avoid. We love to avoid anything that involves pain and suffering. While in the short term, it is definitely beneficial, avoidance in the long run leads to all sorts of problems. I would like to tell my younger self that avoiding public speaking does reduce anxiety. But only in the short-term. That same anxiety becomes ten times worse when you have to do it again. Sure, you could avoid again. But how much longer would that work? Unless you choose to have a job behind a desk or choose to study a course online forever, at some point, the fear will need to be faced. What will happen then?

Avoiding pain and suffering makes sense. But how far will you go to avoid? Will you avoid getting into relationships for fear of getting hurt? Will you avoid new experiences for fear of failing? Will you avoid therapy for fear of getting better and actually living your life? Will you avoid moving out of home for fear of the unknown? Will you avoid changing jobs for fear of feeling uncomfortable while learning something new?

In small doses, avoidance makes sense. But beware as it can become your only coping strategy in life. The only way you know to exist.

You’d be better off avoiding avoidance sooner rather than later.

The one way of doing it is to realise that suffering is part of life.

What about you? What one lesson would you teach your younger self?

Do share your post in the linky below!

Until next time,

Cheers!!!


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  • Kajal Kapur
    22 March 2014 at 12:39 pm

    That’s an excellent topic to blog about! Will get working on this soon…. thanks PB 🙂
    Kajal Kapur recently posted…A Dedication To Mama HenMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 9:19 am

      Thanks Kajal…looking forward to your post!

  • Kajal Kapur
    22 March 2014 at 12:39 pm

    That’s an excellent topic to blog about! Will get working on this soon…. thanks PB 🙂
    Kajal Kapur recently posted…A Dedication To Mama HenMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 9:19 am

      Thanks Kajal…looking forward to your post!

  • Shilpa Garg
    22 March 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Usually we try to numb our brain and heart so that they are not bothered or broken when faced with challenges. While for certain things avoidance works, but usually one has to let go of this avoidance and simply act.
    Loved your choice of topic for a blog hop. Will participate and link my post here soon.
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…A to Z Challenge Theme RevealMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:34 am

      True shilpa…we numb ourselves in so many ways that it will eventually affect us negatively. Looking forward to your post!

  • Shilpa Garg
    22 March 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Usually we try to numb our brain and heart so that they are not bothered or broken when faced with challenges. While for certain things avoidance works, but usually one has to let go of this avoidance and simply act.
    Loved your choice of topic for a blog hop. Will participate and link my post here soon.
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…A to Z Challenge Theme RevealMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:34 am

      True shilpa…we numb ourselves in so many ways that it will eventually affect us negatively. Looking forward to your post!

  • Nibha
    22 March 2014 at 2:42 pm

    That’s exactly what I used to and still do most of the times- AVOID!! 🙁
    Nibha recently posted…Unforgettable Sunset!My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:35 am

      I still do it too Nibha but it;s a lot less than before! For starters, I no longer sleep the minute things get stressful! 😛

  • Nibha
    22 March 2014 at 2:42 pm

    That’s exactly what I used to and still do most of the times- AVOID!! 🙁
    Nibha recently posted…Unforgettable Sunset!My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:35 am

      I still do it too Nibha but it;s a lot less than before! For starters, I no longer sleep the minute things get stressful! 😛

  • Chai a Cup of Life
    22 March 2014 at 4:31 pm

    I would tell my younger self stop worrying about what other people think of me and finish what you started. Funnily enough I had this post on my to do list!
    Chai a Cup of Life recently posted…Has Blogging Improved Your Life Or Taken over Your Life?My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:36 am

      Good one Amelia…I would have told myself that too when I was a child but I think I got better in adolescence and stopped caring what most people though. 🙂 If you do write the post, do link up! Would love to read it…

  • Chai a Cup of Life
    22 March 2014 at 4:31 pm

    I would tell my younger self stop worrying about what other people think of me and finish what you started. Funnily enough I had this post on my to do list!
    Chai a Cup of Life recently posted…Has Blogging Improved Your Life Or Taken over Your Life?My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:36 am

      Good one Amelia…I would have told myself that too when I was a child but I think I got better in adolescence and stopped caring what most people though. 🙂 If you do write the post, do link up! Would love to read it…

  • vishalbheeroo
    22 March 2014 at 6:41 pm

    It doesn’t help to avoid stuff or put on the back burner coz one never grow fully as a human being. Would teach ma younger self to be more patient in life, be more playful, get rid of fear and experiment a lot in life, dare and challenge the self:)
    vishalbheeroo recently posted…With Malice: Stroke of a Pen with Khushwant SinghMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:37 am

      Taking chances is a good lesson for your younger self! 🙂 Do link up if you write a post on it Vishal!

  • vishalbheeroo
    22 March 2014 at 6:41 pm

    It doesn’t help to avoid stuff or put on the back burner coz one never grow fully as a human being. Would teach ma younger self to be more patient in life, be more playful, get rid of fear and experiment a lot in life, dare and challenge the self:)
    vishalbheeroo recently posted…With Malice: Stroke of a Pen with Khushwant SinghMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:37 am

      Taking chances is a good lesson for your younger self! 🙂 Do link up if you write a post on it Vishal!

  • Zita
    22 March 2014 at 9:31 pm

    ohh I like this topic…might do a blog post about it and link up to the party!
    Zita recently posted…Wardrobe Wordless Wednesday..My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:37 am

      Oh do join in Zita! Would love to read your post… 🙂

  • Zita
    22 March 2014 at 9:31 pm

    ohh I like this topic…might do a blog post about it and link up to the party!
    Zita recently posted…Wardrobe Wordless Wednesday..My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      24 March 2014 at 11:37 am

      Oh do join in Zita! Would love to read your post… 🙂

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  • Sheethal
    24 March 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Excellent topic…. I have written the same somewhere… not yet sure whether it’s already in my blog… or somewhere deep down in my drafts… now lemme go search for that …. 😉
    Sheethal recently posted…Treasured for lifelong…My Profile

  • Sheethal
    24 March 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Excellent topic…. I have written the same somewhere… not yet sure whether it’s already in my blog… or somewhere deep down in my drafts… now lemme go search for that …. 😉
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  • Titaxy
    25 March 2014 at 1:26 am

    wonderful post, PB. i think this is something i needed to read. to tell myself the same thing, over and over. not the younger me, but the person i am today. not to avoid…to face the situation, to challenge myself.
    Titaxy recently posted…Happiness is…My Profile

  • Titaxy
    25 March 2014 at 1:26 am

    wonderful post, PB. i think this is something i needed to read. to tell myself the same thing, over and over. not the younger me, but the person i am today. not to avoid…to face the situation, to challenge myself.
    Titaxy recently posted…Happiness is…My Profile

  • Carol Graham
    26 March 2014 at 4:50 pm

    If only we could get ONE reset button, when would we use it?
    Carol Graham recently posted…Did You Know? I Beg to DifferMy Profile

  • Carol Graham
    26 March 2014 at 4:50 pm

    If only we could get ONE reset button, when would we use it?
    Carol Graham recently posted…Did You Know? I Beg to DifferMy Profile

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  • Talya Tate Boerner
    28 March 2014 at 11:10 pm

    I can so relate to this!

  • Talya Tate Boerner
    28 March 2014 at 11:10 pm

    I can so relate to this!

  • Kinmin
    31 March 2014 at 1:59 pm

    I can so relate to this.. And I still avoid almost all of the things that you mentioned here.. Time to learn and try to change things I guess!
    Kinmin recently posted…On God and religion!My Profile

  • Kinmin
    31 March 2014 at 1:59 pm

    I can so relate to this.. And I still avoid almost all of the things that you mentioned here.. Time to learn and try to change things I guess!
    Kinmin recently posted…On God and religion!My Profile