I was but a three year old attending my first year of kindergarten at an all-girls school. We were in Bombay for the school term and living with mum’s parents. Well, not all of us. Dad was still in Oman. I liked school. Hell, I was ready for school before it even started. School was a breeze. Academically at least. Friendships were a different issue.
I remember wanting to become friends with these three girls in my class. Their names evade me. But their faces were etched clearly in my mind {thanks to having class photos!} years later. I tried the usual ways a person does to become friends. But they weren’t interested. Eventually though, they were charmed by me. Or so I thought. They said they would be my friends. On one condition. I had to rip up a particular girl’s alphabet book.
So I did.
I ripped up a three year old’s alphabet book. With the hope of being accepted.
Well, I was accepted into the group. But I also got told on by the girl whose book I ripped. And I didn’t get away lightly. I got whacked with a ruler on my tiny palms in front of the entire class more than once. It was a lesson for everyone and I was the example. Let’s just say I learnt my lesson very well.
Did I tell mum about this? I don’t remember.
Did I tell anyone else about this? Not for a long time!
I don’t remember much of my friendship with these girls. I think I hung around them for that year and the next. Before dad got a job in Salalah which had proper schools {unlike Ibra} and I was able to enrol there. I can’t remember if they were mean to me or if they changed their behaviour. Needless to say, I never saw them again.
When I look back now, I think I struggled a lot with friends probably till I was a teenager. There was a huge need to be accepted — to the point where I lost myself and became whatever people wanted me to be. If anything, one of my earliest memories reminds me why I do the work I do. Because kids go through a lot of shit! And sometimes, it helps having someone in their corner.
I reflected back on my earliest memory thanks to being tagged by Suzy. In turn, I’d like to tag Vidya and hear about her earliest memory. Do take a moment to check out their earliest memories as well as other Write tribers here.
What about you? What is your earliest memory?
Do share!
Until next time,
Cheers!!!
Rainbow Hues
1 February 2014 at 12:25 pmI understand how he pressure to fit in can get. I had that when I was little and somehow I never did…till date! even today I find myself wandering all over.
Nice little piece of story there PB. you were little but I did something like this for sheer peer pressure when I was 14!! And i repented for so many years after that! Anyway…
Thanks!
Rainbow Hues recently posted…Adieu UBC- Till We Meet Again!
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:39 pmThanks Kajal…it can be hard. I have managed to fit in over the years but it was a lot harder when I was younger and trying to please people. Now I am happy to be myself and if people don’t like me, well too bad! Thanks for sharing part of your story… 🙂
Rainbow Hues
1 February 2014 at 12:25 pmI understand how he pressure to fit in can get. I had that when I was little and somehow I never did…till date! even today I find myself wandering all over.
Nice little piece of story there PB. you were little but I did something like this for sheer peer pressure when I was 14!! And i repented for so many years after that! Anyway…
Thanks!
Rainbow Hues recently posted…Adieu UBC- Till We Meet Again!
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:39 pmThanks Kajal…it can be hard. I have managed to fit in over the years but it was a lot harder when I was younger and trying to please people. Now I am happy to be myself and if people don’t like me, well too bad! Thanks for sharing part of your story… 🙂
Vidya Sury
1 February 2014 at 1:07 pmI loved school too and was quite gregarious. That my Mom was a teacher in the same school did not deter me from getting in trouble or being bullied by my classmates. But I have happy memories, nevertheless. 😀 Loved reading your post, Psych. Thank you for tagging me!
Vidya Sury recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:41 pmOh wow…you still got bullied even though your mum was a teacher at the school? Kids can be so cruel! I can totally understand you getting into trouble though 😉
Vidya Sury
1 February 2014 at 1:07 pmI loved school too and was quite gregarious. That my Mom was a teacher in the same school did not deter me from getting in trouble or being bullied by my classmates. But I have happy memories, nevertheless. 😀 Loved reading your post, Psych. Thank you for tagging me!
Vidya Sury recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:41 pmOh wow…you still got bullied even though your mum was a teacher at the school? Kids can be so cruel! I can totally understand you getting into trouble though 😉
Suzy
1 February 2014 at 1:41 pmSome girls are so mean – what an awful thing to do to someone. I think at some point in our lives, someone has taken advantage of our vulnerabilities. But it is these incidents that teach us and make us stronger. hugs.
Suzy recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:56 pmI do agree Suzy that such incidents make us stronger…I guess this and everything else that has happened over the years has only taught me to become resilient and the person I am today! 🙂
Psych Babbler recently posted…Surviving the Mountain Lagoon Loop via Colo Meroo and Tootie Creek
Suzy
1 February 2014 at 1:41 pmSome girls are so mean – what an awful thing to do to someone. I think at some point in our lives, someone has taken advantage of our vulnerabilities. But it is these incidents that teach us and make us stronger. hugs.
Suzy recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 5:56 pmI do agree Suzy that such incidents make us stronger…I guess this and everything else that has happened over the years has only taught me to become resilient and the person I am today! 🙂
Psych Babbler recently posted…Surviving the Mountain Lagoon Loop via Colo Meroo and Tootie Creek
Jyothi Nair
1 February 2014 at 2:21 pmYou grew up in Oman? I love the place. I have visited it so often in the past few years. 🙂 I haven’t been to Salalah yet, but I hear it is green and beautiful!
I guess school memories can never be always good. I too have such arrogant and mean girls in my list of memories. It is so hard to forget them na?
Jyothi Nair recently posted…Miracle Garden 2014
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 6:47 pmYeah Jyothi…I was in Oman till I was 9. In Salalah from 4 to 9. I do remember it being quite beautiful and loved the beach. 🙂 Yeah stuff from school tends to stick around…but I guess it makes us more resilient. I have used my experience to talk to kids about bullying…
Jyothi Nair
1 February 2014 at 2:21 pmYou grew up in Oman? I love the place. I have visited it so often in the past few years. 🙂 I haven’t been to Salalah yet, but I hear it is green and beautiful!
I guess school memories can never be always good. I too have such arrogant and mean girls in my list of memories. It is so hard to forget them na?
Jyothi Nair recently posted…Miracle Garden 2014
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 6:47 pmYeah Jyothi…I was in Oman till I was 9. In Salalah from 4 to 9. I do remember it being quite beautiful and loved the beach. 🙂 Yeah stuff from school tends to stick around…but I guess it makes us more resilient. I have used my experience to talk to kids about bullying…
Pixie
1 February 2014 at 2:35 pmaww!! Hugs to the little you!! Some kids can be so mean na?!
And the pressure to fit in! 🙁
I remember having a hard time too and didn’t really have any friends till high school!
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 7:21 pmCrazy world we live in, huh? You’d think as kids we are all more open and non-judgemental but obviously kids learn to be mean too!
Pixie
1 February 2014 at 2:35 pmaww!! Hugs to the little you!! Some kids can be so mean na?!
And the pressure to fit in! 🙁
I remember having a hard time too and didn’t really have any friends till high school!
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 7:21 pmCrazy world we live in, huh? You’d think as kids we are all more open and non-judgemental but obviously kids learn to be mean too!
Aditi
1 February 2014 at 3:19 pmA lesson learnt hard but good that it was early in your life! Yes kids do have to go to through some hell and at that vulnerable age we are so clueless what’s happening! Lovely post love…*Hugs*
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 7:38 pmThanks for your comment Aditi…kids do go through a lot of crap sometimes but I do realise it makes us who we are today!
Aditi
1 February 2014 at 3:19 pmA lesson learnt hard but good that it was early in your life! Yes kids do have to go to through some hell and at that vulnerable age we are so clueless what’s happening! Lovely post love…*Hugs*
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 7:38 pmThanks for your comment Aditi…kids do go through a lot of crap sometimes but I do realise it makes us who we are today!
Shilpa Garg
1 February 2014 at 5:22 pmI can relate to this post! Kids, even the little ones, can be really cruel. The impact of such relationships sometimes can last a life time! So glad that you are doing something so wonderful and it’s a step in reducing/removing such harassment from a few lives! ♥
Shilpa Garg recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 8:01 pmThanks Shilpa…it amazes me that kids as young as three can be so cruel! Wonder if it’s inherent or learnt…but yes, it does indicate how resilient some of us can become! 🙂
Shilpa Garg
1 February 2014 at 5:22 pmI can relate to this post! Kids, even the little ones, can be really cruel. The impact of such relationships sometimes can last a life time! So glad that you are doing something so wonderful and it’s a step in reducing/removing such harassment from a few lives! ♥
Shilpa Garg recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 8:01 pmThanks Shilpa…it amazes me that kids as young as three can be so cruel! Wonder if it’s inherent or learnt…but yes, it does indicate how resilient some of us can become! 🙂
Sheethal
1 February 2014 at 5:31 pmI never had to deal with difficult kids, until I reached college…. but I have seen kids who struggled cos of that…. Like Shilpa said, so glad you made through…. we’re just awesome they way we are…. 🙂
Sheethal recently posted…My Earliest Memory…
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 8:41 pmOh fortunately for me Sheetal the crap stuff with friends was when I was younger and college was not too bad. I did have one crappy ‘friend’ in college but that was about it. It’s just different levels of meanness across the age span though I reckon. But yes, the experience made me, me! 🙂
Sheethal
1 February 2014 at 5:31 pmI never had to deal with difficult kids, until I reached college…. but I have seen kids who struggled cos of that…. Like Shilpa said, so glad you made through…. we’re just awesome they way we are…. 🙂
Sheethal recently posted…My Earliest Memory…
Psych Babbler
11 February 2014 at 8:41 pmOh fortunately for me Sheetal the crap stuff with friends was when I was younger and college was not too bad. I did have one crappy ‘friend’ in college but that was about it. It’s just different levels of meanness across the age span though I reckon. But yes, the experience made me, me! 🙂
Corinne Rodrigues
1 February 2014 at 6:02 pmHugs, PB – somehow that’s not a nice memory, no? But I do understand how you tried to fit in – I went to a different school almost every two years and tried hard to fit in too. Thankfully, I got off more lightly than you did! Thanks for sharing.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Corinne Rodrigues
1 February 2014 at 6:02 pmHugs, PB – somehow that’s not a nice memory, no? But I do understand how you tried to fit in – I went to a different school almost every two years and tried hard to fit in too. Thankfully, I got off more lightly than you did! Thanks for sharing.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…My Earliest Memory
My Earliest Memory - Write Tribe
1 February 2014 at 11:58 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
My Earliest Memory - Write Tribe
1 February 2014 at 11:58 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
More than Words
2 February 2014 at 1:45 amKids can be really cruel….hugs to u…the other day my 5 year old Daughter said she had raisins dipped in ketchup to which I literally flinched….after probing she told me a girl said if she did it then they can be BFF …talk about peer pressure….
More than Words
2 February 2014 at 1:45 amKids can be really cruel….hugs to u…the other day my 5 year old Daughter said she had raisins dipped in ketchup to which I literally flinched….after probing she told me a girl said if she did it then they can be BFF …talk about peer pressure….
Maggie
2 February 2014 at 4:39 pmI tried very hard to fit in, but eventually got tired of it. But the fact that we weren’t easily accepted makes it a tad bit easier to accept other people.
Maggie recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Maggie
2 February 2014 at 4:39 pmI tried very hard to fit in, but eventually got tired of it. But the fact that we weren’t easily accepted makes it a tad bit easier to accept other people.
Maggie recently posted…My Earliest Memory
My Earliest Memory - Coffee With Mi | Coffee With Mi
2 February 2014 at 4:48 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
My Earliest Memory - Coffee With Mi | Coffee With Mi
2 February 2014 at 4:48 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
Richa Singh
2 February 2014 at 8:23 pmThrough your story you have expressed one of the nicest messages to us. This is I can assure you is not only your story. The better part of it is always to derive a lesson..
Richa
Richa Singh recently posted…It cannot be cured overnight-Part 28
Richa Singh
2 February 2014 at 8:23 pmThrough your story you have expressed one of the nicest messages to us. This is I can assure you is not only your story. The better part of it is always to derive a lesson..
Richa
Richa Singh recently posted…It cannot be cured overnight-Part 28
Geeta Nair
2 February 2014 at 10:11 pmWe all are different. It is often difficult to fit into a particular group. But then as kids we are ready to do anything to get that which fascinates us . And then how would a three year old know why one should not rip someone else’s book. But then that incident and your changing school were a blessing in disguise. You learnt a lesson and you made better friends.
Geeta Nair recently posted…Mirror with a difference
Geeta Nair
2 February 2014 at 10:11 pmWe all are different. It is often difficult to fit into a particular group. But then as kids we are ready to do anything to get that which fascinates us . And then how would a three year old know why one should not rip someone else’s book. But then that incident and your changing school were a blessing in disguise. You learnt a lesson and you made better friends.
Geeta Nair recently posted…Mirror with a difference
Shiva
3 February 2014 at 3:09 amSo sweet of you to share such a not so good memory with us .. Yes the desire to be one in the group always puts one into pressure … nice post
Shiva recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Shiva
3 February 2014 at 3:09 amSo sweet of you to share such a not so good memory with us .. Yes the desire to be one in the group always puts one into pressure … nice post
Shiva recently posted…My Earliest Memory
My Earliest Memory Posts | Jyothi's Day Out
3 February 2014 at 2:32 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
My Earliest Memory Posts | Jyothi's Day Out
3 February 2014 at 2:32 pm[…] Psych Babbler – Over Cups of Coffee […]
Bhavya
3 February 2014 at 5:03 pmThe need to fit in haunts each one of us differently. Somehow I am glad that you changed schools and those girls are just a part of your memory now.
Bhavya recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Bhavya
3 February 2014 at 5:03 pmThe need to fit in haunts each one of us differently. Somehow I am glad that you changed schools and those girls are just a part of your memory now.
Bhavya recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Kalpana Solsi
3 February 2014 at 6:46 pmWe all expect to be accepted by others. But girls are very choosy and do not befriend easily nor do they allow others to penetrate into their closed group. The three girls in your K.G. class were a good example. and being punished in the presence of the whole class is humiliating.
Kalpana Solsi
3 February 2014 at 6:46 pmWe all expect to be accepted by others. But girls are very choosy and do not befriend easily nor do they allow others to penetrate into their closed group. The three girls in your K.G. class were a good example. and being punished in the presence of the whole class is humiliating.
nabanita
4 February 2014 at 3:33 amsome kids are really mean no? I remember not being affected much by bullies but my sis sure did get affected and that’s when I fought with every Tom, Dick and Harry ! even with teachers! I had to be the big sister what can I say 😉
nabanita recently posted…A Miracle Story
nabanita
4 February 2014 at 3:33 amsome kids are really mean no? I remember not being affected much by bullies but my sis sure did get affected and that’s when I fought with every Tom, Dick and Harry ! even with teachers! I had to be the big sister what can I say 😉
nabanita recently posted…A Miracle Story
Meena Menon
4 February 2014 at 6:51 pmHo ho – this seems staright from a storybook! Kids can be quite cruel no…
Meena Menon recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Meena Menon
4 February 2014 at 6:51 pmHo ho – this seems staright from a storybook! Kids can be quite cruel no…
Meena Menon recently posted…My Earliest Memory
Avada Kedavra
5 February 2014 at 5:56 amSome kids can be so cruel. I do not remember much from my school days. But as far as I remember, I had a hard time fitting in when we were in North India. Just because I was a south Indian, people never wanted to mingle with me. Loved the post PB.
Avada Kedavra recently posted…Death Valley – Part 1
Avada Kedavra
5 February 2014 at 5:56 amSome kids can be so cruel. I do not remember much from my school days. But as far as I remember, I had a hard time fitting in when we were in North India. Just because I was a south Indian, people never wanted to mingle with me. Loved the post PB.
Avada Kedavra recently posted…Death Valley – Part 1
Tuhina Mahan
7 February 2014 at 3:08 amThat was quite honest and must have been difficult to write. Its harder to write about things we are not so proud of…
Cool Tag, BTW. Mind I steal it?
Tuhina Mahan recently posted…Brown
Tuhina Mahan
7 February 2014 at 3:08 amThat was quite honest and must have been difficult to write. Its harder to write about things we are not so proud of…
Cool Tag, BTW. Mind I steal it?
Tuhina Mahan recently posted…Brown