Life lessons

Steps to mend a broken heart

I am still hurting of course. But I started taking some steps towards being kind to myself and patching up my broken heart.

Cry your heart out: Yes, cry. It’s okay. It’s human. It sucks and it hurts and crying is no big deal. Sure, it doesn’t solve the problem but it is cathartic in its own way. I keep reminding myself it’s okay to be sad. And to just embrace the feeling. Yes, I know it will pass. But for now, I am sad.

Chocolate, ice cream or wine: As clichéd as it sounds, I indulged in some chocolate ice cream on Sunday night after finding out the news. And Monday night, I had a couple of glasses of wine with my dinner to help through some of the pain.

dinnernwine

Take a day off work: Okay. So maybe not all the time. But for me, I needed it. I felt like shit this morning with puffy eyes and my body going through hot and cold flushes throughout the night. Psychosomatic according to my doctor. So I called in sick and decided to be kind to myself.

Friends: Contact your friends. Phone or text or email or Facebook. It’s so helpful! I love that I have friends who care enough to check on me. N, Amie, A, H, B all messaged me after I told them. A messaged from work to check if I was ok which I thought was a very nice gesture.  My sister Skyped with me for a bit as well. And as for all you lovely blogger friends out here — having you comment on my post or via Facebook was also very helpful! Plus I’ve made plans with a friend to go out Saturday night to feel better.

Do something nice for yourself: I got my  ears pierced. I’d been thinking about getting my third holes re-pierced {they shut last year} and I ended up getting three new piercings instead. So now I have 4 holes on my right ear and 3 on my left! 🙂 I also indulged in a bit of retail therapy when I took my house-mate to the shops {she came with me for the piercing} where I ended up buying myself a Pandora bracelet. I figured the next time I get my heart broken, I can just buy a new charm!

earrings

The studs are the new ones

Exercise: I didn’t do that yesterday but I know I’m back on the wagon this morning. I’m also thinking of signing up for some boxing with a personal trainer just to get some of that frustration and disappointment out.

Blog and get some kitty cuddles: I read blogs. Blogged myself. And got some loving from Pebbles. I swear the cats know when I am sad. They did that when I broke up with the Ex. Cuddled a lot more than usual.

kitty

Watch 30 Rock {or some other sitcom}: I recently bought the entire box set of 30 Rock. And yesterday arvo seemed the perfect time to start watching it. And I wasn’t disappointed. Tina Fey is brilliant and the show had me laughing out loud. While it was on TV I have only caught a few episodes and liked it. So glad I got the entire set now and looking forward to watching the rest!

Read something positive: I continued reading Brené Brown’s book as I truly intend on living my life in a more wholehearted and authentic way. Despite the setback, the epiphany I had last week has not left me completely. I still believe I am a worthy person and I am enough. I just want to behave in more ways that are wholehearted.

Take time to be grateful: I haven’t done this yet but it’s something I plan on doing later this week. Make a list of all things I am grateful for and all I have in life. Yes, I am sad. Yes, I am disappointed. But I can be grateful about things I have and have some space for gratitude and joy while I am sad. I think it just helps to move on eventually. And maybe, just maybe it will help reduce the whys that fester in my brain.

What about you? What steps have you used to mend a broken heart?

Do share!

***Linking up with Jess for IBOT. Because it’s a Tuesday***

Until next time,

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  • Steph
    10 December 2013 at 6:53 am

    I agree, my husband and I had been going through a really rough time and really needed to re-connect so we both chucked a sickie (my first ever, oh the guilts!) and spent the day together and it was the best thing ever! Great post x
    Steph recently posted…The perils of being a Beyonce in a Kate Moss worldMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Welcome here Steph! It really is nice to take a day off to mend anything I reckon! Thanks for sharing…

  • Steph
    10 December 2013 at 6:53 am

    I agree, my husband and I had been going through a really rough time and really needed to re-connect so we both chucked a sickie (my first ever, oh the guilts!) and spent the day together and it was the best thing ever! Great post x
    Steph recently posted…The perils of being a Beyonce in a Kate Moss worldMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Welcome here Steph! It really is nice to take a day off to mend anything I reckon! Thanks for sharing…

  • LiFi
    10 December 2013 at 9:25 am

    Yay you girl, you rock. I love your spirit. Liked those ear rings and Pandora charm is an awesome idea.
    LiFi recently posted…Dear SantaMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:46 pm

      Thanks LiFi…it was hard but it helped in many ways… 🙂 Still getting there.

  • LiFi
    10 December 2013 at 9:25 am

    Yay you girl, you rock. I love your spirit. Liked those ear rings and Pandora charm is an awesome idea.
    LiFi recently posted…Dear SantaMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:46 pm

      Thanks LiFi…it was hard but it helped in many ways… 🙂 Still getting there.

  • Avada Kedavra
    10 December 2013 at 9:41 am

    I agree with all the steps. Usually watching funny sitcoms or reading an interesting book helps me when I am feeling down.

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:48 pm

      Thanks for sharing your experiences Ava…didn’t try reading this time because I felt I probably couldn’t focus.

  • Avada Kedavra
    10 December 2013 at 9:41 am

    I agree with all the steps. Usually watching funny sitcoms or reading an interesting book helps me when I am feeling down.

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:48 pm

      Thanks for sharing your experiences Ava…didn’t try reading this time because I felt I probably couldn’t focus.

  • iSophie
    10 December 2013 at 12:35 pm

    🙁 I read your other post about what happened. It’s great to even write about it, and get it all out. And the icecream and wine steps are crucial! I hope every day gets easier for you. #teamIBOT

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:49 pm

      Thanks Sophie…it really did help to write about it. The hurt was fresh and raw and I felt nothing else would help.

  • iSophie
    10 December 2013 at 12:35 pm

    🙁 I read your other post about what happened. It’s great to even write about it, and get it all out. And the icecream and wine steps are crucial! I hope every day gets easier for you. #teamIBOT

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 7:49 pm

      Thanks Sophie…it really did help to write about it. The hurt was fresh and raw and I felt nothing else would help.

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    10 December 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I’m sorry that you are in pain at the moment – unfortunately it’s not something that’s going to get magically better. But it’s good that you are already looking after yourself and trying to work through it. Hugs to you and continue to be kind to yourself x
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Reality CheckMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Thanks Kirsty…that’s the hardest bit…knowing the pain won’t magically get better and that it will probably re-surface every now and then when I’m feeling exceptionally vulnerable. But yes, I hope to work through it and accept it when it does come… 🙂

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths
    10 December 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I’m sorry that you are in pain at the moment – unfortunately it’s not something that’s going to get magically better. But it’s good that you are already looking after yourself and trying to work through it. Hugs to you and continue to be kind to yourself x
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Reality CheckMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Thanks Kirsty…that’s the hardest bit…knowing the pain won’t magically get better and that it will probably re-surface every now and then when I’m feeling exceptionally vulnerable. But yes, I hope to work through it and accept it when it does come… 🙂

  • EssentiallyJess
    10 December 2013 at 9:29 pm

    Oh I’m so sorry! I had missed reading about it ending, and I really do feel for you. There is nothing worse than that feeling.
    I would do all the things you did. Chocolate, wine, funny movies and spoiling myself. You deserve to be treated nicely after not being treated nicely.
    Hope the pain subsides quickly for you, and that the next guy is the one that sticks xxx
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Dear Santa 2.0 #IBOTMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Thanks for the kind words Jess! 🙂

  • EssentiallyJess
    10 December 2013 at 9:29 pm

    Oh I’m so sorry! I had missed reading about it ending, and I really do feel for you. There is nothing worse than that feeling.
    I would do all the things you did. Chocolate, wine, funny movies and spoiling myself. You deserve to be treated nicely after not being treated nicely.
    Hope the pain subsides quickly for you, and that the next guy is the one that sticks xxx
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…Dear Santa 2.0 #IBOTMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Thanks for the kind words Jess! 🙂

  • Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy
    10 December 2013 at 10:41 pm

    Oh how terrible….but..it just wasn’t meant to be. Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of great things to mend, for me it was just getting out to get my mind off it and time, time heals a broken heart and one day you’ll look back and be glad it happened.
    Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy recently posted…The Importance of Father and Son TimeMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:03 pm

      Welcome here Eva…”it just wasn’t meant to be”…that’s something I’m going with. I guess if it’s meant to be, it will happen. And yes, time will heal wounds and I will learn something from this as well. Thanks for the kind words…

  • Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy
    10 December 2013 at 10:41 pm

    Oh how terrible….but..it just wasn’t meant to be. Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of great things to mend, for me it was just getting out to get my mind off it and time, time heals a broken heart and one day you’ll look back and be glad it happened.
    Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy recently posted…The Importance of Father and Son TimeMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:03 pm

      Welcome here Eva…”it just wasn’t meant to be”…that’s something I’m going with. I guess if it’s meant to be, it will happen. And yes, time will heal wounds and I will learn something from this as well. Thanks for the kind words…

  • stephanie
    10 December 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Sorry to hear that ! Continue to be kind to yourself. One thing I did was to do something I really wanted to do and threw all my energy and focus into it. x
    stephanie recently posted…Call for helpMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Thanks Stephanie…yeah, previously I would do stuff like that too…work and exercise were two things I’d immerse myself in! 😛

  • stephanie
    10 December 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Sorry to hear that ! Continue to be kind to yourself. One thing I did was to do something I really wanted to do and threw all my energy and focus into it. x
    stephanie recently posted…Call for helpMy Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Thanks Stephanie…yeah, previously I would do stuff like that too…work and exercise were two things I’d immerse myself in! 😛

  • Soumya
    10 December 2013 at 11:25 pm

    I wouldn’t say sorry, because it has been said already. Also because if it was worth it, you probably wouldn’t have let go. Like they say, it always happens for a reason.

    I always got a piercing on my ear after each break-up. I have 4 holes on each ear now 😀

    But I’m happily married today and those holes are just a style statement now, nothing else. Hope you get the drift 😉
    Soumya recently posted…Maya – Part 1My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks Soumya…yes, I’m starting to believe it wasn’t meant to be. And thanks for sharing your story on your piercings! 😀

  • Soumya
    10 December 2013 at 11:25 pm

    I wouldn’t say sorry, because it has been said already. Also because if it was worth it, you probably wouldn’t have let go. Like they say, it always happens for a reason.

    I always got a piercing on my ear after each break-up. I have 4 holes on each ear now 😀

    But I’m happily married today and those holes are just a style statement now, nothing else. Hope you get the drift 😉
    Soumya recently posted…Maya – Part 1My Profile

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Thanks Soumya…yes, I’m starting to believe it wasn’t meant to be. And thanks for sharing your story on your piercings! 😀

  • Maddie
    13 December 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Get a new haircut and read many lives many masters by Brian Weiss

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Last time around I did get a new hair cut 😀 Thanks for sharing those options Maddie…

  • Maddie
    13 December 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Get a new haircut and read many lives many masters by Brian Weiss

    • Psych Babbler
      17 December 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Last time around I did get a new hair cut 😀 Thanks for sharing those options Maddie…

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