The Deep Dark Secret

Okay. Maybe not so dark. And maybe not so deep either.

I don’t know if any of you remember this post which I had hastily posted a couple of weeks ago at work when I was really, really stressed. That week was one hell of a week. And of course, it resulted in my immune system giving up the fight and me falling sick all of last week.

So anyway, I’m going to let you all in on why I was so stressed. I must admit, the problem has not completely been solved yet but I’m dealing with each day as it comes.

Sometime in October this year, I had applied for another job. A full-time permanent position. I got called for the interview in November but it wasn’t great so I didn’t expect much. Until late that month when I got the call saying I was the preferred candidate for the position. However, there were still some checks required. I of course, didn’t inform my current work places as I was waiting for actual paperwork to confirm the position. And then, I received the paperwork on the 7th of December, the last week of school. But unfortunately, the paperwork had me on the wrong payscale. I informed one staff member at the school but said I was waiting on the change in payscale prior to giving notice.

So anyway, there was a whole back and forth between me and my new line manager at this new position. And the line manager contacted human resources. And then we found out that because I had been working at the school and been paid under the teacher’s award they had not counted that. 2 whole years of my work (albeit part-time) were not taken into account. I stressed about it. Wondered whether I should even go ahead with the position. But it is one I really wanted. And I didn’t know how much longer I would last mentally working two part-time jobs (you end up working more than one full-time position). So I decided either way, I would take the position. However, I could still send them paperwork from the school outlining that I was hired as a psychologist.

So anyway, on Wednesday I went to speak to the principal. After all, if I needed the paperwork, I had to tell them my intentions. The principal was surprised I had applied for another job and even asked me if there was anything they could do to keep me because they thought I was good. I said if they could make the position full-time I would gladly stay. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible (as I’d known) and I told the principal how it was for personal reasons and that I was mentally exhausted working 2 jobs. I cried. The school were very helpful but could only give me paperwork by Friday.

In the mean time, I spoke to the manager at the new position and we changed the start date to February 1st. On Friday, I found out that to give 4 weeks’ notice at a school, you need to do it within the school term. Which was kinda late to find out given it was the last day of school! So anyway, I spent all day trying to contact the new manager and trying to decide when to give notice. You can give notice outside of the school term but then you forfeit 4 weeks’ pay. Finally got through to the manager and asked whether it would be possible to start part-time initially in Feb and then full-time four weeks later after outlining what I had found out about giving notice at schools. The manager found out from HR that it would not be possible.

So I bit the bullet.

I handed in my notice at the school. They were very nice and presented me with flowers and thanked me for my work at a staff lunch that day. And I cried and cried. They are lovely people I worked with and I feel sad that I won’t be working with them any more. I’m still going in a few days to wrap things up.

And after handing in my notice, I started shitting myself. I haven’t signed the papers for the new position. I haven’t heard back yet whether they have accepted my role at the school in terms of wages. And now, until the 1st of Feb, I am losing out on three-fourth of my pay (I’ll still be working 2 days a week) I do know I am starting on the 1st of Feb because the new manager sent out an email to the other staff informing them I am starting. But it’s still scary. And it’s come at a bad time. Christmas. My birthday next month. Two friends’ birthdays in Jan and two in Feb. A friend’s wedding in Jan. Plus not to mention all my bills and expenses.Β 

So yeah, it’s not ideal. I have not been in this position before and it sucks. But I’ll get through it.

I hope.

Another 6 weeks and things should be okay.

And of course, I need to chase up what’s happening with that paperwork!

Until then, things will be tight. But I can manage staying indoors. As for my birthday, I am thinking of just doing a dinner and games night at home. Saves the expenses. Absolute worst case scenario, I have to use my credit card for bills.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Until next time,


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  • G
    22 December 2009 at 9:49 am

    My god! Hope you pull through the whole mess. Hang in there. Hugs!

  • Mahmud faisal
    22 December 2009 at 1:15 pm

    I just finished reading each word of you… heard the ‘stress’ matter, got the reason of it…

    Anyway, now I could realize what happened to your life… and wish it will all be okay! confirmation of new job, some great gift in birthday, and some nice moment for life is needed….

    cheers, everything would be all right….

  • Smita
    22 December 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Ooops! No wonder you are stressed!!! Am sure everything will turn out fine!!! Uncertainties do scare us but they are winnable for sure πŸ™‚

  • Titaxy
    22 December 2009 at 5:42 pm

    sounds hectic…don’t worry, things will get sorted out on their pace dear…and for the money, you will manage, don’t stress about it too much.


  • Matt
    22 December 2009 at 7:24 pm

    HUGS HUGS HUGS…A load of hugs…
    Only positive energy your way from now on…

    For the wonderful person you are,I’m sure you will get past this with ease … πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    In addition to that you can celebrate a wonderful birthday party with us in the blogosphere…. πŸ™‚ Agreed? Everyone with me??

  • Richa
    23 December 2009 at 6:50 am

    Ooh! I completely understand what you mean. I also obsess about all the trivialities..don’t worry the offer letter will come through and the paper work will be done.

    As you said, it’s 6 weeks before your new life! Hopefully you will like your new job as much as this one! If not then we are here to listen πŸ˜€

  • Magali
    23 December 2009 at 8:36 am

    I remember that post. Don’t worry, knowing you (from your blog!) you’ll get through it!

  • Psych Babbler
    23 December 2009 at 9:46 am

    @ G: Thank you!

    @ Mahmud: Thank you…I hope so too…

    @ Smita: It’s the unpredictability for sure…and it’s very unlike me to do something like this. Thanks πŸ™‚

    @ Titaxy: Mainly worried about finances…but I’ve learnt to scrimp when needed so fingers crossed…

    @ Matt: Thank you so much πŸ™‚ And would love to celebrate my b’day with you guys! πŸ˜€

    @ Richa: I couldn’t wait…contacted HR today and requested the letter with the new start date so hopefully it should be here soon… Thanks for the kind words πŸ™‚

    @ Mags: Thanks… πŸ™‚ I really must be coming across as someone who manages pretty well on this blog! πŸ˜›

  • Aditya
    23 December 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Knowing you all the days through your blog, I know you are a fighter. A fierce fighter that too! Wish I can do something for you. Just hang in there buddy , your best life is just round the corner. Just crane your neck and u can see it. Have some wine and sleep well every night. Dont take stress. I know writing is one of your biggest stress buster do take care of your physical stress needs too. Sleep properly and keep mind more fresh.

    I am sorry for all this advices but I give them only to friends πŸ™‚

  • Psych Babbler
    24 December 2009 at 10:13 am

    @ Aditya: Thanks for the kind words…I really do appreciate them! πŸ˜€

  • BlueMist
    24 December 2009 at 3:03 pm

    Testing times I guess. Just hang in there PB. I am sure you will be okay. Stress will only make things harder. Huggs.

  • Makk
    28 December 2009 at 12:09 pm


    Nothing is worse ….or bad..

    Every thing happens for good only.

    Keep SMiling!