Life lessons

How do you turn out?

I’m not sure about you, but when I was going through my teenage years, although I wasn’t your typical overtly rebellious teenager, there was one way in which I think I was similar to all teens.

I never wanted to become like my parents.

Back then, it was unthinkable.

As I have grown older (and probably wiser) I realised that maybe it wasn’t that bad after all.

And now, I find, that I am a lot like my parents. And funnily enough, something I never thought— I am a lot like my dad.

I say funny because I was a lot closer to my mum growing up and dad and I mainly had conversations about sport. Yes, we had arguments about cricket, in particular, what with me supporting the Aussies all the time. But that was pretty much it. Until I decided to come to Australia. We spoke a lot more about various things including my studies before I left. Once I got here, I talked more to dad over the phone than I probably did in person before. Yes, initially it was cricket and football. But it began to change. Maybe some of it has to do with the fact that we are both health professionals.

So now, while I look like my mum and I am similar to her in that I can be quite anxious, I like keeping my place neat and clean, I am also a lot like my dad.

I cannot stand hypocrisy. I am all for being honest and upfront. I am not working just for money. Yet, I am a workaholic. I do not like politics within the workplace and do not get involved in the same. I am an introvert. I get road rage like my dad when people don’t follow road rules. I react like him by swearing at the other drivers but in my car with the windows rolled up. I have rules about how I like things to be in my place. I have become pretty straightforward. I do my job because I love it. And I think critically and ask a lot of questions. (Actually, that last point there — I did that ages ago even as a teen!)

Of course, there’s other ways in which I guess I’m not like either of them but that’s because of other things I may have learnt over the years.

My parents may be surprised at how I turned out. And maybe even a bit happy.

I wonder though — is this due to the influence of genetics or environment?

Who knows?

And to be perfectly honest, who cares?

I’m my parents’ daughter after all. And I’m proud of both my parents.

Until next time,


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  • Mumbai Diva
    5 June 2009 at 7:38 am

    πŸ˜€ Oh I so know what you mean. After years of thinking that I would never be like my mom, I realized that I’m so much like her. I was kinda shocked when the realization hit. I’ve accepted it now.

  • Archana
    5 June 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Aw that’s a sweet post. πŸ™‚ I think about that sometimes, cause clearly our parents shape a lot of who we were, but a big influence is the outside world and how exposed we become to it, whether through friends or just on our own. And you’re right, who cares anyway, cause at the end of the day, the person that you are & the person that looks back in the mirror at you everyday is someone that should make your parents (and you!) proud.

    I personally think I turned out like a mix of my ‘rents. More like my dad on the social front & more like my mom on the inside. It’s a healthy mix, heh. I love my adorable parents and can’t imagine a world without them. Heck, I still call my dad, Daddy. πŸ˜›

  • Orhan Kahn
    5 June 2009 at 7:30 pm

    What does your father do for a living?

  • Ms.R.
    6 June 2009 at 5:49 am

    Aww that’s sweet. Every time I go berserk, my guy says… ‘please dunt act like your Mum’ πŸ˜› But I love her πŸ˜‰

  • Ms.R.
    6 June 2009 at 8:37 am

    Surprise for you on my blog πŸ˜‰

  • Psych Babbler
    7 June 2009 at 4:35 am

    @ Mumbai Diva: Your comment reminds me of a FRIENDS episode where Rachel has turned out like her dad and Joey like his! πŸ™‚

    @ Archana: Yeah…I’m sure our education in terms of people we interact with, what we study, our experiences all shape how we turn out which is why we are not carbon copies of our parents.

    @ Orhan: He’s a doctor. Was never an area I wanted and it’s funny that I ended up in mental health while he deals with the physical aspect.

    @ Ms R: That’s sweet! πŸ™‚ And thanks for the surprise…

  • Anne
    8 June 2009 at 12:07 am

    You know, I think it is inevitable. One day we wake up and find ourselves saying the same things our parents used to say. Scary! Part genes, part environment, part inherited teachings!

  • SSQuo
    8 June 2009 at 6:52 pm

    Nice post! I think its a combination, genetics AND environment that makes you you.

  • LLnL
    9 June 2009 at 12:28 am

    i don’t ever remember thinking that I would not become like my parents, my main thing was to get far away from them so that I could find out the kind of person I wanted to become. The more space they gave me the more like them I’ve become, but in a unique way.

    In fact I seem to be the only one that see all the similarities but I have always thought they were expectational people who don’t get how special I am yet. That brings about the differences that makes it difficult to maintain the friendship that I would love to have. My mom refines things by focusing on what needs to change. I focus on encouraging others by stating the things that I’m grateful.

    I we can learn to balance each other out when we spend time together we would be unstoppable. In the mean time I’m learning the more you accept yourself the more you force others to accept you or get out of the way.