Life lessons

I’ve changed

Almost 2 years away from Mumbai.

I may be going back in the break for a bit — back to seeing everyone. While I’m excited at that prospect, I’m also quite apprehensive.

Because I have changed.

It makes me wonder why people say that….
Is it wrong to change?
Just because I’ve changed, is it a bad thing?
Why don’t you see change as growth?
Why don’t you see change as maturity?
Why don’t you see change as more responsibility?

It’s the tone with which it is said as well … “Oh, you’ve changed” Ummm…ok I have…and that’s a problem because…???

Because I’m not so narrow-minded anymore?
Because I’m not so immature anymore?
Because I can think for myself?
Because I can stand up for what I believe in?
Because I’ve become independent?
Because we probably won’t discuss some of the silly stuff we did when younger?

I’m not saying this because I’ve been lucky to get this opportunity to be here in Aus but more so from past experience — when I moved from school to college — the world of Xavier’s opened up so much for me and I must say was some of the best years. I grew so much. (And no…I don’t mean my height which has I think been the same since I was 15!)

But all people noticed was:

That I was more outspoken; not that I was no longer scared to speak my mind
That I had pierced my ears; not that I was striving for independence and doing something I wanted
That I was in favour of live-in relationships, consentual sex, love marriages; not that I was becoming open-minded and believed that everyone had a choice in decisions regarding their lives
That I wanted to only focus on a career and not marriage; not that I want to be independent and not depend on a man

When I worked at IDP for a few months, I grew as well…
I was more independent
I had more….much more confidence
I was earning for the first time in my life

And people noticed the change — but I got the remark in the same tone… “You’ve changed”

I’m not ashamed of the way I’ve changed. I’ve learnt that you can’t please everyone. And I’m not out to do that — at least not with the way I am. I am proud of who I am. Truly. Yes, I still feel I lack certain things every now and then…but I like myself so much better than I did when in school. I can’t even believe I was that 15-year-old girl!

So, if when I go home people tell me “You’ve changed”, my reply will be…

“YOU BET I HAVE! I’D BE STUPID NOT TO HAVE”

{Originally written on 21/10/2006}

Till next time,

Cheers!!!

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